Continuing Rant Thread - Get it Off Ya Chest here

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Put an order in with MHB late April. Had a Bohemian pilsner, DSGA and English Barleywine lined up for Christmas. Ordered 3 weeks in advance for comfort, and had brew dates lined up. Numerous calls and follow ups and still nothing. Got a feel for it at about week 4 and got an emergency brew from national to fill the gap. Missed the weekend, family affairs got in the way, and only recently brewed.
Both kegs blew out. No home brew on tap.
In the meantime I convinced another mate at work to join the all grain brigade. All excited but low on cash, I got him to put in an order and include a recipe for me. He takes over a week to do this and doesn't seem to care. Brew day comes and I grab a BRTD recipe off another mate to do for this other bloke because his order hasn't arrived. He spends less than an hour at my place - clearly he had other plans - and I end up cubing it later in the day then handing it over when he drops by at 7 PM.
I've been chasing him up numerous times this week because the order still hasn't arrived. Sounds like it got lost in the mail. I tell him to call Martin up, he sends an e-mail a day later. Gets a response, says he'll call tomorrow. Well that's great but...
I am out of beer
This is my favourite hobby
I have no ingredients
I've found time in my busy schedule to devote a day to brewing.
There is no LHBS
I'm ******* over it. All I want to do is brew myself a beer. I haven't got a brew shop within a few hours' drive of town and I can't rely on couriers to get it to me. People at work ask me when I'm brewing next and I really have nfi, I can't get hold of grain.
Next pay day I'm buying a mill, going for a drive and picking up a few bags of malt. ALL I WANT TO DO IS BREW MYSELF SOME AG BEER.
 
Nothing better than having a few sacks of different grain and making your mind up of what you're going to brew that very morning.
 
People who substitute 'have' with 'of'. "Yeah, I would of"

They aren't 'kin interchangeable !

"Can I of some have that, please?"

I have lots of these rants...their/there/they're, your/you're, where/wear/ware...do the English teachers even know anymore ?

That's maybe unfair. I really blame uneducated morons who happen to also be celebrities, and are therefore (unfortunately) role models.
Jamie 'clank it up' Oliver...you can cook, but you don't do speak good.
 
How about apostrophe's used to unnecessarily denote plural's?
And exclamation marks when you're not really exclaiming! Hello!

And multiple exclamation or question marks when one will suffice???!!!

Hard life we live. My pants have a hole in the knee.
 
My mother in law is a classic for frustrating English.
cutlery = "cuttery"
Scourer = "scourel"
Crayons = "crowns"
Stunned mullet = "stunned mallet"
"Menace the Dennis"
Bought = "brought" (i.e should have brought them for that price)
Cancel = "council"
... and many more.
No word of a lie. Her job? Casual primary school teacher. And my wife wonders why it pisses me off.
It was a strange conversation, at age 23, when I had to get her to read the scourer packet to see that there was in fact no 'l' in the word. It was like an epiphany where she realised life may not be as she was shown.
 
C'mon guys, sometimes you need to arks yourself if it really matters all that much.
 
▲▲▲▲▲▲This this this ▲▲▲▲▲▲

My frikking BIG boss (contract manager) says this all the time....and "whole nother"...and "interpretate".

But he gets away with it because he balances it with wanky manager speak, such as "moving forward" and his version of "economy of motion"...."economy IN motion".

I'm going to murder him with a shovel.

Edit- Spelling, punctuation and grammar
 
Easy targets aren't they the ones who may have learning difficulties, who attempt to contribute to any forums not just AHB, to embarrassed to write a reply when they are attacked, not saying all have learning difficulties some are lazy.
My advice would be not to get annoyed, who knows what problems they may have, intelligence is not measured by grammar.
 
Danwood said:
But he gets away with it because he balances it with wanky manager speak, such as "moving forward" and his version of "economy of motion"...."economy IN motion".

I'm going to murder him with a shovel.
No, No,No... you will never get ahead talking like that.

You are going to proactively leverage the latest construction technology to disengage him from the breathing process and allow the organisation to organically transform around a new management paradigm.

I consult for large companies. Does it show?
 
Danwood said:
▲▲▲▲▲▲This this this ▲▲▲▲▲▲
My frikking BIG boss (contract manager) says this all the time....and "whole nother"...and "interpretate".
But he gets away with it because he balances it with wanky manager speak, such as "moving forward" and his version of "economy of motion"...."economy IN motion".
I'm going to murder him with a shovel.
Edit- Spelling, punctuation and grammar
Economy of motion,next time he says this ask him if he means. Having a quick **** so you can get back to work as opposed to taking a magazine in with you and wasting time .
 
manticle said:
And multiple exclamation or question marks when one will suffice???!!!
Legit.

Indicates three time more confused and angry / outraged.
 
Yeah well...

I start a new job next week and the boss & staff ride motorbikes and use swear words.

Going to be ******* hard to fit in.
 
Airgead said:
No, No,No... you will never get ahead talking like that.

You are going to proactively leverage the latest construction technology to disengage him from the breathing process and allow the organisation to organically transform around a new management paradigm.

I consult for large companies. Does it show?
I love the cooperate speak play on words. Moving forward. Genius.
'In future' pfffft - What the **** wer we thinking???
 
At the company I consult for we now have to call things Strawmen instead of drafts... Let me socialise my strawman so we can get ourselves on the same page and achieve consensus going forward.

They really do not like me saying "I'll send around my draft, let me know if you agree".
 
Airgead said:
At the company I consult for we now have to call things Strawmen instead of drafts... Let me socialise my strawman so we can get ourselves on the same page and achieve consensus going forward.
The world is truly turning to ****.

We used to have a somewhat technical term for a peice of equipment that was no longer servicable or beyond econimic repair.

We used to write on the tag " Its ******"

If it was damaged to the point of not even being able to be used for spares we wrote " Completly ******"
 
manticle said:
How about apostrophe's used to unnecessarily denote plural's?
And exclamation marks when you're not really exclaiming! Hello!

And multiple exclamation or question marks when one will suffice???!!!

Hard life we live. My pants have a hole in the knee.
Don't you mean pant's?
 

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