Continuing Rant Thread - Get it Off Ya Chest here

[Dave70]

Cutting in :/

= wife in my house.

I was the kid who could never colour inside the lines. Or spell.

 

[Dave70]

doesn't post than much any more, but his rants are so brutal it's worth going back through old entries for a laugh

Makes a great pick-me-up when you're having a slow un funny day.

http://cooksuck.com/post/19336721749/my-mums-idea-of-a-joke-dinner-lol-yeah-right

http://cooksuck.com/post/24039780561/id-rather-romantically-ejaculate-onto-the-breasts

 

[Bridges]

"Why do I have to constantly apologise for being drunk at dinner, yet agonising #glutenfree menu substitutions are a cause for celebration? Ugh, you think you’re killing it with your fancy blood-free stools and vomit-free jogs, stop setting these pretend micro-goals. You fucked up, you failed, and you didn’t become the person you wanted to be."

Thanks Liam_snorkel, some of the funniest blogging I've ever read!

 

[mje1980]

= wife in my house.

I was the kid who could never colour inside the lines. Or spell.

Yeah my wife's pretty good at it. I'm awesome at it, for about 15 mins, then i get impatient and rush, resulting in touching the cornice with paint. By the end of the room I'm over it.

I don't do the tape either. All that prep time, and I ******* guarantee I'll still get paint on the cornice or somewhere it shouldn't be. There's no less errors without the tape so I skip that step.

 

[Droopy Brew]

Flaccid pastry encrusted [and I hope I go down in history for the use of not two but four quotations marks here] ““meat pies”” as a crust for what I refuse to call a pizza? That’s like an AIDs dick ejaculating several smaller AIDs dicks.

​Favorited..

And again on pizza-

i wish i could really get stuck into this and elaborate but these mini-pizzas just look like a bunch of ewoks that have partied too hard, shat themselves, passed out, choked on their own vomit and died.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Theres a lot to be liked about wallpapering.

 

[bradsbrew]

Cutting in walls,
use no less than a 3" brush
if right handed - work right to left around the room
if left handed - learn to use your right hand ya numpty
use 1 side of the pot
put initial line of paint 10mm below target cut in line, once most of paint is off brush you then just slide the brush ( using the side width) along the paint you just put on, slightly twist the brush ferrul which will make the edge bristles meet the cutting in point.

Piece of piss.

 

[Tahoose]

The green tape that SWMBO bought is awesome, it's a painters tape not a masking tape. Gets fine lines, doesn't rip paint or plaster.

Only problem is that you need a clean and dry surface or it doesn't stick.

 

[Liam_snorkel]

yep painting is a piece of piss. The misso & I have painted every room in the house (one at a time over the course of a year) and it only takes a day. cheap renovation that makes the house look great.

 

[Danwood]

The green tape that SWMBO bought is awesome, it's a painters tape not a masking tape. Gets fine lines, doesn't rip paint or plaster.
Only problem is that you need a clean and dry surface or it doesn't stick.

Did you see the receipt for that special tape?

It'd want to be good for that many dollars...

More expensive for less glue...thanks for that, 'The Man' !

 

[manticle]

Less is more

 

[Danwood]

Correct. I'm 5ft 6in.

Sorry, 'The Man'.

 

[mwd]

Dumb Cnuts Living in an apartment building why do the morons have to put boxes in the Recycle Bin without breaking them down first.5 boxes and the bin appears full. They also have to receive detailed instructions on what can be put in the bin and the dicks still put the wrong materials in or bottles in plastic carrier bags.

 

[mje1980]

Theres a lot to be liked about wallpapering.

Oh Jesus, reminds me of when the wife decided we needed to paint the nursery for our first born in 2 colours, top and bottom, separated by a wall border. Basically a 4" wide strip of wallpaper that goes horizontally to seperate the colours.

Piece of piss, right? Haha, when it's wet and slippery and sliding off the wall, and doesn't look square and you're both trying to hold it while it dries ahah. Almost got divorced for that little strip of wallpaper.

It's never been mentioned again, and thankfully we've moved so there aren't often reminders of it!

 

[Camo6]

I've stripped one of three rooms of the 70's brown/beige wallpaper at my place. There's a reason why I haven't started on the other two. Sometimes think it would be easier to replaster.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Yes its a barrel of laughs wallpapering, my wife wanted some fancy swirling paper on a ceiling, got one end up and told her to hold it in position while I edged along the plank putting it up as I went, got to the other side of the room, turned around and the wife was right behind me and behind her all the fallen wallpaper.

 

[Blind Dog]

doesn't post than much any more, but his rants are so brutal it's worth going back through old entries for a laugh

Loved the '...the kind of people who grow beards when they realise they have no personality...' comment. Funny and brutal all in one. He is an angry Kent though.

 

[Tahoose]

Did you see the receipt for that special tape?

It'd want to be good for that many dollars...

More expensive for less glue...thanks for that, 'The Man' !

I don't care to look at receipts for things that she buys, just like I don't get pestered about brewing purchases. 2 way street.

 

[Dave70]

I don't care to look at receipts for things that she buys, just like I don't get pestered about brewing purchases. 2 way street.

In fairness, a mans hobbies can sometimes necessitate that she ignores the occasional contraflow on that two way street.

 

[Bridges]

Contraflow hey...
https://youtu.be/PeErQ-dHIPo