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Classic Metaphors

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THE DRUNK ARAB

Zen Arcade
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These are genuine metaphors from student essays...

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open
again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled
with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
York at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at
4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr.
on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet
of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the
interview portion of Family Fortunes.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on
31p-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had
ever seen before.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her
first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP,
Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee
hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric
fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
Thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
 

Gough

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As someone who has marked plenty of student essays in his time, outstanding TDA, outstanding :lol: :lol: :lol:

Shawn.
 

SJW

As you must brew, so you must drink
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And these are the little angels that will one day rule our world.
 

PostModern

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1. Most of them are similies not metaphors.

2. There is no . after Dr, so the one that reckons the . is missing from Dr Pepper cans is stupid.

3. I'm pretty sure the "like a bowling ball wouldn't" is stolen from Doulgas Adams, although his use wasn't a bowling ball, but something else....

Cheers,
Forum and grammar Nazi.
 

Gough

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PostModern said:
1. Most of them are similies not metaphors.

2. There is no . after Dr, so the one that reckons the . is missing from Dr Pepper cans is stupid.

3. I'm pretty sure the "like a bowling ball wouldn't" is stolen from Doulgas Adams, although his use wasn't a bowling ball, but something else....

Cheers,
Forum and grammar Nazi.
Yeah, but they were funny...


Shawn.
 

Wreck

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PM, the Douglas Adam one was about the Vogon Constructor fleet that destroyed the Earth. Something like "they were floating high above the Earth, just the way that bricks don't"
 

PostModern

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Cheers Wreck. That's it. It was kind of annoying me trying to remember the line on the way home... then I feel asleep while planning my next hops order.
 

sosman

beerling
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PostModern said:
2. There is no . after Dr, so the one that reckons the . is missing from Dr Pepper cans is stupid.
And I believe that is the point. One day its there and poof, the next day its gone.
 

wee stu

wee stu's brury - hand made beers, award winning l
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sosman said:
And I believe that is the point. One day its there and poof, the next day its gone.
..... just like Earth wasn't after the Vogon constructor fleet came to visit.
 

deebee

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sosman said:
PostModern said:
2. There is no . after Dr, so the one that reckons the . is missing from Dr Pepper cans is stupid.
And I believe that is the point. One day its there and poof, the next day its gone.
Seppos still put the full stop after Dr. and Mr. etc.
 

PostModern

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deebee said:
sosman said:
PostModern said:
2. There is no . after Dr, so the one that reckons the . is missing from Dr Pepper cans is stupid.
And I believe that is the point. One day its there and poof, the next day its gone.
Seppos still put the full stop after Dr. and Mr. etc.
Stupid seppos and their destruction of the English language. A period is only required in an abbreviation when the last letter of the abbreviation is not the last letter of the original word.

Doctor | Dr
Mister | Mr
Abbreviation | abbrev.

The seps can do what they like:

colour becomes color
the suffix "ise" becomes "ize"
mum becomes mom
and why the **** do they not pronounce the "h" in "herb"??????? Huh, why?
 

Wreck

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And what happened to the I in aluminium???
 

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