Brewsa Invitational Update

[PistolPatch]

A few of us have been playing around with brewing terminology in the Humour & Jokes Forum under a thread called Brewsa Invitational 2006. As The Pub Forum includes general chit chat, I thought I would, just occasionally, post an up-to-date word list here.

If you would like to contribute to the list, please do so only at the link provided at the end of this post as we dont want to get into trouble for getting The Pub too far off topic! If you would like to encourage this thread, praise a word or perhaps offer an improvement on an existing word you can probably do this here. To abuse this thread, see the end!

The most up to date list of 34 words and the contributors is/are as follows

Actobacter: Acrobatics performed by lips, nose and mouth after tasting an acetobacter infection. PP

Alpha Acrid Unit: Measure(%) of how nasty a bad beer is. (See also sH). SW

Armylase: A militant enzyme group that kills enemy starch forces to create ally sugar forces, consisting primarily of alpha and beta armylase. Also referred to as the dieastatic enzymes. SW

Barge Arm: A piece of grain brewing equipment that no matter what speed it runs water in, it forces the grain bed to compact. LZ

Blitch: Cleaning and sterilizing liquid found in various places. For example, blitch is often discovered in a hyphon that you thought was full of boiled water. A solution of blitch is also what you will find all your stainless steel soaking in 48 hours after a Fall Grain Brewing session. Liquid blitch often attacks the brewer's eyes whilst the aroma attacks the nostrils. (see Hyphon and Fall Grain Brewing). PP

Blocculation: The process of covering the fermenters tap with yeast cake. SW

Condamination: Blame given by the brewer to evrything and everyone but themselves when they produce a fale or a flager. (see Fale and Flager). PP

Corny Syrup: What comes out of your mouth when sitting next to an attractive person after way too many beers. PP

Daught: Describes a person that thinks Draught comes from a can, and the brewery that thinks it belongs in it. SW

Diestatic: Militant enzymes responsible for killing/immobilizing enemy starches. SW

Fale: Usually brewed at the beginning of one's homebrew career. You think the beer is great but your mates have one sip, leave you at home, and go to the pub. Uses top fermenting yeast. PP

Fall Grain Brewing: A method of brewing beer that takes so long, if you start drinking at the beginning you will fall down drunk well before the end of the process. PP

Fester: Volatile compound formed during fermentation that gives a beer a rotten, pungent or fetid yeast aroma. SW

Flager: Same as Fale yet brewed using a bottom fermenting yeast. Often brewed at the same temperature as a fale: 32 degrees (celcius!). PP

Flowmenter: The name briefly given to a fermenter at the time of the addition of wort whilst the tap is still open. (See Lamenter). PP

Head Retension: The screwing up of the eyes whilst trying to remember what you're meant to be doing next whilst Fall Grain Brewing. PP

Hyphon: A siphon so long you have to hyperventilate to get it going. PP

Ilcohol: The substance that gives you a hangover. SW

Infussion: The internal meltdown of a brewer when he realises he's mashed at the wrong temperature. SW

Iodidne: The steriliser you thought you added to water but 2 weeks later realise you actually didnt. PP

Kisinglass: What a brewer does to a glass of crystal clear beer. SW

Kit & Keelover: Brewing method used by 18 year olds in their first foray into homebrewing. Comprises a kit of No Brand Malt and 6 to 7 kilos of sugar. PP

Lamenter: The name given to a fermenter into which you have just started to siphon wort, the telephone rings and the fermenter tap is open. PP

Lardness: The measure of fat/grease content in dirty beer glasses. SW

Madjunct: The addition of undesirable fermentables to the brew, eg: white sugar. SW

Mash Tuna: The 'nice' description for the horrid stench that permeates your yard when forgetting to discard spent grain, and originates from within the brew rig. LZ

Moldification: The term given to incorrect grain storage. SW

Racking Vane: A racking cane which no matter what you do, still sucks air. PP

Saccharomyces Luvarum: Lager yeast that prefers a Bundy to Sugar. SW

sH: Alternative measure of a bad brew. 1 - very good, 7 - average, 14 - will make you spurge i.e. absolutely sHouse. (See also Spurge). SW

Shopback: Returning to the HBS after forgetting something important. SW

Slauter: The method of extracting too many tannins and wrecking what would otherwise be a perfectly good brew. SW

Spurge: What your body does the morning after a very heavy session. ST

Verminal Gravity: The term used for a happy brewer brought back down to earth after realising he's got an infection. SW

Thats it for the moment! If you would like to add a word please go to Brewsa Invitational 2006.

When I update the above list I will simply modify this post and add a further post at the end of the thread saying what new words have been included. This will save reading the above words over and over. Hope this is OK with everyone! (If you hate the idea of a very occasional update being posted in this forum I think you press Report Post below!)

Cheers
PP

CREDIT to humorous Brewsas so far goes to...

LZ = Linz (2)
ST = Stephen (1)
SW = Simon W (17)

God knows what goes on in these guys heads!

 

[Simon W]

oooh, I didn't realise you would be changing a persons contribution! h34r:

Edt: PP, see PM

 

[PistolPatch]

See your PM old son! Thought I'd better modify the SH bit! Once I get your reply, I'll fix it so it blends. At least people can still see the original in the Humour & Jokes forum. The only other modification I made was to delete any, 'see also,'s that referred to anything that was alphabetically earlier as otherwise things would become a little repetitive. (Lots of praise in your PM but!)

 

[PistolPatch]

LOL! Can't believe you were just yanking my chain! Going to watch you like a boiling kettle from now on. Thanks for the correction to the Fester bit. Have just fixed it! Keep posting new words Simon - I'm getting a laugh. Specially love, 'Shopback'. I shopback three times every time I go to a hardware store. Why is that?

 

[Simon W]

Hehe, I'm enjoying this, love your Condamination and Iodidne. lol

 

[PistolPatch]

Nice one, Alien Boy.

I'll make sure I read through your posts to see how much you contribute. It's not a big effort to ignore this thread if it doesn't interest you and if you re-read my original words, you should realise that I spent considerable time and effort to put it together in a format that shouldn't offend anyone.

How about thanking the contributors for the time they have spent?

Most of the contributors are newbies like myself and we are just trying to give something back.

If you're going to criticise, at least have the courtesy to say, thanks, but no thanks, and as I said report this post to a moderator.

You're a newbie yourself - thought you'd know better.

Can some of you older members please support us newbies who are trying to contribute! At least, tell us we are trying (but not trying your patience!)

LOL PP

 

[Simon W]

PP, best not to feed the trolls.....

ah screw it, I can't help myself,
Alien Boy, exposure? yer doing a pretty good job of that in yer avatar. Is it a good indication of your personality?

 

[PostModern]

There is no reason to drag duplicates of threads from Humour and Jokes into the Pub. Please keep to one thread per topic and in the right place. eg, you could edit the top post in the original thread to include new additions and the formatting.

Capping this thread before it gets further infected and becomes a gusher.