Alcoholism

[Dazza_devil]

They don't need sympathy. They need help.

Yeah, did I say they needed sympathy, was that just elaboration or you agreeing with me?
Need, maybe the core of the problem.
Want, maybe the solution, if it's help.
I don't think I need to be sympathetic toward someone to help them.
Do I want to help or do they want help, perhaps a more important question.

 

[Bribie G]

At the risk of sounding trite, I once read a definition of addiction that sounds spot on.

An addiction is some substance or behaviour that temporarily relieves the unbearable pain of reality. That's why it always infuriates me that the government and do gooder organisations focus on restricting supply (Pokies, grog, smokes, codeine ffs) yet does nothing about why the people have to do these things in the first place. Isn't it interesting that Pokies, grog, smokes etc are a major source of income for them as well.

 

[Nick JD]

...are a major source of income for them as well.

Intelligent people are easily taxed - stupid people, ironically must be surreptitiously taxed. It's the taxation paradox.

 

[Fents]

I find it very hard to be sympathetic toward anyone who has a problem with alcohol.
A problem with an alcoholic however is a bad place to be indeed.

heh i took this stance like you for years. its your choice etc etc...the main excuse i got feed up with is " its a disease" i have no control over it. my ass it is, cancers a disease not bloody alcohol where you "choose" to drink.

thinking like that didnt get me very far though so i changed my stance.

 

[Fents]

My girlfriend is in Rehab at this moment for Alcohol. At least she is honest with me, she says that all she wants to do is get out and on the way home get a GOON.. I do feel what you are going through..I was crying at the drop of a hat when she went in, I am coping with it (just ) at the moment..Keeping communication channels open ,not judging , and leaving to the PROS Itake every day as it comes..but am raw on the inside at the moment...Thankyou for your honesty..hope it all works out for you.

Really hope it all works for you too mate, its shithouse. Biggup for sharing.

 

[Dazza_devil]

heh i took this stance like you for years. its your choice etc etc...the main excuse i got feed up with is " its a disease" i have no control over it. my ass it is, cancers a disease not bloody alcohol where you "choose" to drink.

thinking like that didnt get me very far though so i changed my stance.

The main reason being that it is counter-productive for both parties involved.

 

[Leigh]

Not a good situation to be in Fents. Have experience with addictions, but each situation is different...

One thing though, with the crap I've been going through lately, the guys on this forum have been great to talk to and share similar experiences...an ambo gave me some good advice in January too:

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

...and I tell you what, every person I share my shit with lifts a little bit more of the weight from my chest and brightens the light at the end of the tunnel!

Take care mate.

 

[newguy]

Had an uncle that drank himself to death many years ago. I was too young to know better but it really bothered my mom to watch her brother die a slow suicide. Now that I'm older I know that what bothered her more was the utter hopelessness (and poverty) that this imposed on his wife and kids.

My wife's aunt was a raging alcoholic for many years and my wife's mom had a nightly ritual of putting her son to bed over the phone because his mom was passed out. "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yes." "Did you go pee?" "No." "Okay, go pee." "Okay auntie." [long pause] "Okay, I went pee." "Are the doors locked?" "I'll check." [pause] "They're locked now." "Does mom have a cigarette in her hand?" "Yes." "Be a good boy and put it out." "Okay." And on & on & on. This went on from the time he was about 5 until he was about 10.

All you can really do is be there to offer support and help if and when they decide that they've had enough. If there's young children involved, it's important to let them know that they can count on you if need be.

 

[sinkas]

For the OP, A book I have found useful and actaully keep stock of in my practice is Adult children of Alcoholics,

http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoh...z/dp/1558741127

Its not the be all and end all, but seems to be a good tool.

 

[Pollux]

As someone who has personally dealt with the addiction of gambling, smoking and speed, it's funny what comes through in terms of support.....Most of it is read as preaching until the person affected admits they have an issue.

I have now freed myself from all of the above, but it took having a child to do so. In terms of helping others I can't offer much, but I do agree that the main reason for people's addiction to many things is that it is an escape from reality, no matter how brief or the consequences.....

 

[smileymark]

Thanks Mate.

She is through Detox now the good news is that there was a gap of 4 days till rehab starts. She has elected to stay in detox till then (unreal Ay) as opposed to come home and get on it again.( took a bit of convincing but she is going to do it.) Time will tell

Really hope it all works for you too mate, its shithouse. Biggup for sharing.

 

[smileymark]

I feel like I am Hijacking this thread...It is really helping me to write things down. I arrived at detox today to a happy and bubbling "girl" It was great..She knows she has made the right decision to stay in (till rehab) and was pleased with herself..it was great. I had a fairly torturous night ..beating my self up feeling that I should not have pushed her to stay and missing her terribly but "hey" it was worth it...I am going to go to an Al anon meeting tonight maybe that will help a bit..C how it goes...And fents thanks for starting this thread..made me realise I have to start looking after me...Cheers Mate.