Advice For A Pommy Tourist

[Lobsta]

i was recently chatting to a pommy mate of mine and he was talking about his plans to maybe come to Aus for a holiday and he asked me if I had any tips about coming to Australia for him (that was his first mistake). so i came up with these helpful hints (with the help of my uncle who has been over there.

1. Take what you would normally drink in a night out, double it, that is not called a 'quiet social drink'.
2. Take your beers out of the oven and put them into the fridge.
3. Put yourself in said oven to acclimatise to out ambient temperatures.
4. If you drink Guinness over in the UK, stop, because if you drink Australian Guinness, you will cry.
5. Dont be like every other pommy tourist; work up a tan BEFORE you come over,
6. Don't go to the beach wearing only speedos
7. Wear sunscreen; nothing screams "Ask me about the Ashes" like a bright red guy with white spots where his sunnies were.
8. Do NOT, ask for a Fosters in an attempt to sound australian. Nobody in Australia drinks it, and it is rarely even sold.
9. Don't mention the name Jonnie Wilkinson. Ever.

anybody that has any additions to this list, im sure that he would appreciate it...

Lobby

 

[sinkas]

How boring

 

[mika]

Tell him to watch out for drop bears

 

[Lobsta]

Tell him to watch out for drop bears

**swedish accent** Drop Bears??

 

[milpod]

How boring

At least his having a go!

 

[sinkas]

At least his having a go!

At what,
unsufferable clice, and ill informed social comment?

 

[Adamt]

I didn't understand what this was until I realised it was in the "Humour and Jokes" section.... :unsure:

 

[petesbrew]

**swedish accent** Drop Bears??

Vegemite is the only known deterrent for Drop Bear attacks. Apply liberally as you would sunscreen.

 

[OzBeer_MD]

Vegemite is the only known deterrent for Drop Bear attacks. Apply liberally as you would sunscreen.

Make sure you tell them about the funnel-backs and red-webs! (new cross breeds are extra nasty!)

(oh and they are often in the same areas as drop bears)

MD

 

[imellor]

Vegemite is the only known deterrent for Drop Bear attacks. Apply liberally as you would sunscreen.

Vegimite as a deterant is a myth. Drop bears are Australian and the live on Vegimite. I don't think it would be funny if a pommy tourist covered in vegimite was savaged by a drop bear, then their remains eaten by funnel-backs and red-webs. Although if you happen to capture it on with you handy cam please paste a link to the footage

:super: :lol:

 

[dengeez]

Tell him thanks for the excellent beer that his ancestors gave to us !!

 

[slowlearner]

Tell him paul Hogan has been given the flick as a tourism icon.
We now have John Jarrat in his WOLF CREEK outfit to greet all the TEMPORY visitors......
that ought to turn the 50 cent piece into a 5 cent piece!!!