yes i know wtf! carlton cold ultra chill

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pist

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Despite actually liking craft beer and a robust porter i recenty brewed, my brother in law has an insatiable desire to drink this rubbish from his younger days again. I swore id never make megaswill...god help me...but i have to ask to get him off my back...does anyone have a rough idea what i need to put in it. And yes ive heard all the piss in the bottle cracks...this unfortunately is a serious question haha!
 
You don't mention whether you are AG, extract or kits. I have made a few of these lately using 100% pils malt and Hallertau bittered to around 20-25 IBU. Half at 60 and half at 10 mins. Fermented with Notto. Megaswill drinkers seem to love it and still interesting enough to be enjoyable.
 
His sig suggests AG.

Pist, there's a couple of recipes in the recipe DB for lightly bittered lagers, many corona style. Perhaps pick one haphazardly, preferably one with half decent feedback, and see how you go.

Edit: correcting autocorrect.
 
My most megaswilly brew was a pale lager with a challenge - brew something with 50% white sugar for the fermentables. So I mashed some (probably only 2.5kg or so) pils malt at 69 degrees or so and added some carapils to help with the body. A small amount of POR for bittering only. Most importantly I took utmost care with the lager ferment to ensure that was not going to let this wonderful beer down. It fermented good and clean and turned out to be a quite decent beer in its way. If I instead went to only 40% sugar I would actually call it good.

To this day when I am stuck at a pub with only carlton's offerings on tap, my reluctant first sip of swill always brings me back to that brew.
 
Carlton Cold was originally a 5% lager, now it's had its balls removed and it's a mid strength 3.5%
I wouldn't bother, it was truly crap to begin with, no hop character other than a bit of isohop. I'd guess it just comes off the Mid pipeline and is repackaged as cold, but with less hop than Mid.
 
Keep making good beer and tell your brother to keep buying his megapissswill.
Keeps him drinking and saves you wasted time.
 
Yeah its a truly shithouse beer alright. I was stunned when he asked me after drinking many craft beers. I guess some people just cant tear themselves away from rubbish. Im guessing with the ultra chill it was even worse with more white sugar added to bump the alcohol up to 6%. I might just make him buy some biab gear and give him a megaswill recipe from the recipedb at least then i wont have my gear tied up with crap
 
I used to work as a chef. I'm healthy weight, exercise well, know how to cook. I love dim sims and once every two years get a craving for tinned tomato soup.

I know how to brew beer, am personally familiar with almost every style of beer available in this country commercially and a few HB versions of styles that are less available. I have conducted and participated in taint sessions and am BJCP certified.

At the moment I am enjoying premixed bourbon and coke and ice cold barvaria longnecks.

Knowing what is good and what is crap doesn't occasionally stop you getting a hankering for crap. People watch shit TV, read shit books, newspapers and magazines, eat shit food, drink shit beer. As long as you don't make it your life or remain ignorant of the world out there, I don't think it's always a bad thing. See it as a challenege, brew something in the ballpark for your brother. Then teach him how to make it.

Summarised as recognising a turd doesn't stop you from sometimes wanting to eat one. You don't even need to polish it. I think not recognising it is the ultimate sin.
 
Thats a fair call manticle and i never thought of it that way. Theres nowhere to hide any mistakes in a pale lager, ive got a few ales and wheats under my belt now, so maybe your right i should push it a bit further and take it up as a challenge
 
Make him a small batch of megaswil and use %40 sugar to get the ABV up.

Then another small batch with %30 sugar.

Then another @ %20, untill its all grain.... oh the evilness of it all, only problem will be he will be hooked on your all grain like a fat kid on cookies.
 
You don't have your location in your sidebar but you could check with the likes of GnG, ESB, Craftbrewer or MHB depending which neck of the woods you live and see if they do isohop (comes in a very small bottle). That way you don't need to bother using hops in the recipe, just 50/50 pale malt and white sugar, and ferment with s-23. Recommend BrewBright in the boil as you don't want any chill haze when you slam it down to 1°C.
 
manticle said:
I used to work as a chef. I'm healthy weight, exercise well, know how to cook. I love dim sims and once every two years get a craving for tinned tomato soup.

I know how to brew beer, am personally familiar with almost every style of beer available in this country commercially and a few HB versions of styles that are less available. I have conducted and participated in taint sessions and am BJCP certified.

At the moment I am enjoying premixed bourbon and coke and ice cold barvaria longnecks.

Knowing what is good and what is crap doesn't occasionally stop you getting a hankering for crap. People watch shit TV, read shit books, newspapers and magazines, eat shit food, drink shit beer. As long as you don't make it your life or remain ignorant of the world out there, I don't think it's always a bad thing. See it as a challenege, brew something in the ballpark for your brother. Then teach him how to make it.

Summarised as recognising a turd doesn't stop you from sometimes wanting to eat one. You don't even need to polish it. I think not recognising it is the ultimate sin.
Click to expand...

After reading that I'd kill for a couple of dim sims.
 
As a tangential counterpoint to my post, last night I made vietnamese style wontons with home made pastry, marinated with galangal,lemongrass, chilli, lime, coriander, garlic and served with coconut rice noodles and a capsicum/cherry tomato spicy salad and home made dipping sauce. Tonight I had 3 fried chien wahs at the local on the way to the studio just after work for a little snack. Dim sims at both ends of the scale do me just fine.
 

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