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Two Quick Ones

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spog

The Odd Drop Brewery
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q, why do women prefer a circumcised penis. a, because they cannot resist any thing with 10% off. q, why do squirrels swim on their backs, a, to keep their nuts dry. :p
 

aspro

Well-Known Member
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HA HA HA :D

thats funny my wife is still laughing


Cheers aspro
 

Wortgames

'Draught' is not a beer style - it's a lifestyle
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Q: Why is the middle part of a woman's body called a waist?

A: cos you could fit another pair of breasts in there

:)
 

Ross

CraftBrewer
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Wortgames said:
Q: Why is the middle part of a woman's body called a waist?

A: cos you could fit another pair of breasts in there

:)
[post="89549"][/post]​
LOL :D Classic wortgames...
 

Tim

Retro Ghetto Meister
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Why do women wear white on their wedding day??

Because all the other kitchen appliances are white!
 

Lukes

Speak Easy
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Got this one on the email today:

Don't mess with the wife!!

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies :party: . So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, :eek: and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took Out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,

"You want dirty words, *ickhead? Drink your *+cking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother*+cking snacks, because you are *+cking married now, and you aren't going *+cking anywhere! Got it, *sshole?"

and, they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story?
 

johnno

It's YUMMY
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Got this one today.


There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named
because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not
to call him Onestone.


After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and
nobody called him that any more.


Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning,
Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest
where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all
the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.


The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years
went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named
Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.


Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."


Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to
her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day,
made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


What is the moral of this story????? ...................











OH, come on... take a guess!











Think about it...





(You're going to love this!)










And the moral is ..............................




















...You can't kill two birds with one stone
 

THE DRUNK ARAB

Zen Arcade
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johnno said:
Got this one today.


There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named
because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not
to call him Onestone.


After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and
nobody called him that any more.


Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning,
Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest
where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all
the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.


The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years
went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named
Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.


Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."


Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to
her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day,
made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


What is the moral of this story????? ...................











OH, come on... take a guess!











Think about it...





(You're going to love this!)










And the moral is ..............................




















...You can't kill two birds with one stone
[post="89598"][/post]​
GOLD Johnno! :p
 

Linz

Well-Known Member
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Got this one via email(so I suppose its been see a million times and is as old as the hills)

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this

problem with wind, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never

smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least
20
times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was
farting
because they don't smell and are silent.



The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next

week."



The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know
what
the hell you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink

terribly."



The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses,
let's
work on your hearing.
 

Screwtop

Inspectors Pocket Brewery
Joined
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Gympie
Blonde calls the Fire Dept, says "Help My House Is On Fire" fireman replies "ok how do we get to your house" Blonde replies "Duuuh, In The Big Red Fire Truck"
 

Ross

CraftBrewer
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Man goes to the zoo... but when he arrives there is only a dog... it was a shitzu.
 

warrenlw63

Just a Hoe
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Ross said:
Man goes to the zoo... but when he arrives there is only a dog... it was a shitzu.
[post="90257"][/post]​
:lol: :lol:

Warren -
 

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