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Sniffing Bums.

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My youngest daughter who only started school this year came home and asked me why dogs sniffed each others bum, now last year she spent almost the whole time with me in the garden or fishing and Dad was King, whatever Dad said was true even the story of the passage monster both girls used to believe, our house is old with 13 foot ceilings and a long dark passage from the kitchen to the bedrooms and lounge room and when the girls had to go from one end of the house to the other it was always at full pelt.
Anyway I told her that the reason dogs smell each others bum (and it is what my father told me and his father told him) is because many years ago before there were men the dogs were a lot different, they were clever, read newspapers and smoked pipes, but most of all they loved to dance and it was decided that they would build a huge ballroom with crystal chandeliers so all the dogs could attend a huge ball. When the ballroom was finished invitations went out and all the dogs attended,as they did so they hung their tails on coat pegs, about half way through the night the ballroom caught fire and the dogs ran for the exit grabbing any tail on the way out, they all ended up with the wrong tail so from that day to this the dogs go around sniffing each others bums to see if they can find their own tail.
My daughters response,"Yeah, right". How quickly things change, just last year she hung on to everything I told her, I suppose it is just part of growing up so in a way she's not my little girl anymore.
By the way has anyone else heard this story, I would be interested to know as my father says that his father, who was Irish had a story for everything.
 

StalkingWilbur

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Hahahahaha. That's amazing. I'm going to start telling people that.
 

Airgead

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Oh yeah. my daughter is well past the dad is cool stage and well into the eye rolling, look of contempt, "uuuuhhhh dad... that's lame" stage. Apparently they grow out of that eventually but I am yet to see any evidence.

Love the tail story though. i love the irish.
 

Liam_snorkel

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my 3.5yo niece doesn't buy any of my stories :( "no it isn't Uncle Liam, you're just tricking!" Takes one to know one though, she's a little schemer, makes shit up all the time to manipulate people into doing what she wants.
 

brewinski

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It was from an old black and white Aussie film series in the 50's, called "Smiley" that I first heard it.

I'll bet it was from a long time before that :)
 

Dave70

Le roi est mort..
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Yep, must be an old standard. Mum use to tell us that. Never quite bought it though.

One I did buy was the 'stubbie tree'. This mythical sapling would bloom with Resch's bottles hanging off the end of the branches, coincidentally only on the morning following a family BBQ.
Found out when I was about 27 my uncles were actually just sticking the bottles over the ends of the branches. Pretty disappointed actually..
 

Airgead

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Dave70 said:
One I did buy was the 'stubbie tree'. This mythical sapling would bloom with Resch's bottles hanging off the end of the branches,
Can I go to the nursery and get the cultivar that grows little creatures instead?
 

bradsbrew

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brewinski said:
It was from an old black and white Aussie film series in the 50's, called "Smiley" that I first heard it.

I'll bet it was from a long time before that :)
Pretty sure I remember Maurie Feilds telling that one on Hey Hey its Saturday.
 

Dave70

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Airgead said:
Can I go to the nursery and get the cultivar that grows little creatures instead?
That must be the go. I've planted heaps of bottles and **** all results if I'm honest.
 
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Checked on the Smiley movie, it was mentioned in a song in 'Smiley gets a gun' with Chips Rafferty.

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DOGS MEETING

The dogs, they had a meeting.
They came from near and far.
And some came in by taxi
And some came in by car.

They went into the meetinghouse
And signed the visitor's book
And each one, and each one
And each one, and each one
Hung his asshole upon the nearest hook.

One dog was not invited
Which caused him great ire.
He stood outside the meetinghouse
And boldly shouted, "fire."

The dogs got all excited
They didn't stop to look
And each one, and each one
And each one, and each one
Grabbed an asshole from off the nearest hook.

Now this then is my story
And it is very sore
To wear some other's asshole
You've never worn before

And that is why when dogs meet
On land or sea or shore
Each one sniffs the, each one sniffs the
Each one sniffs the, each one sniffs
The other's asshole in hopes it is his own.
 

mr_wibble

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Whenever I tell the kids a story, and it's just a load of nonsense... If it looks like they're believing me, I keep adding more and more outlandish aspects to the tale until they realise I'm talking rubbish (again). I like to do this because of the reaction when it finally dawns on them, but also they learn to judge something based on its content, and come up with their own opinion on whether what they're told is true or not. Of course they then goto school and believe whatever their teachers utter say as gospel. *sigh*.

An interesting thing with little kids is the development of their, uh I don't know the term, say volumetric numeracy.

Ask your weens this:
I have a cake (or pizza) and I cut it into lots of slices...
Is there now less cake, more cake, or the same amount of cake.

Until they're (I can't remember, say) 4ish they will say that there's more cake.

It's really cool. My youngest still remembers herself answering "more cake". Then rolls her eyes at herself.
 

spog

The Odd Drop Brewery
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Flying from Perth to Adelaide years ago we were asked to put the window blinds up.
My daughter ( blonde) ask "dad why do the blinds have to be up"?
I said " if the pilot needs to do a right hand turn,he will come out and see of the coast is clear".
I almost got away with it but the hostie burst out laughing.
 

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