I'm back. Please excuse my absence.
My brew has safely made it into bottles just this evening.
It's been fermenting for 24 days (or perhaps just sitting there doing nothing at all). The Sydney weather has been brutal. One day it's pouring rain, the next day it's crazy hot. So I'm guessing that probably hasn't really helped.
I took advice from everyone, and a few little tips I actually tried out.
To the mighty brewer who told me to swirl it; that worked. Just a gentle swirl, enough to get the thing moving around, but trying not to really break the surface of the wort, or stir up too much sediment.
The next day I checked and it seemed to have dropped a point or so, then another point the day after that. then it stalled again (possibly due to the funky weather?) so I swirled it again and left it about 3 days. it dropped again, only 1 point or so.
To the mighty brewer who suggested pitching more yeast; that worked. I was desperate, and ready top throw it in the trash. I know this probably isn't advised, but I used about 2/3rds of a bag of the yeats that came with my Coopers kit.
Then left it probably almost a week. Then when I checked it was right down at 1.010.
Checked again today - 1.010.
And finally, I did that quick test that another master brewer recommended. Basically you take a sample, check gravity, then pour the sample into a sterilised jar or something air tight. Then shake the hell out of it every now and then and leave it doing it's thing for a few days. The idea is to see if you can wake up the yeast I'm guessing.
I can tell you with this particular batch, It woke up a sour demon inside my brew. I had a little taste of that particular sample, and it was quite possibly the second worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. The Worst thing I don't wanna talk about.
I read an article about some sort of bacteria forming in the air pockets, which is why they don;t suggest shaking to revive a stalled yeast.
Anyway. I feel like I've taken so much away from this. I thank you all.
My next adventure is an APA. Stay tuned for that one.
My final post on this thread will be in a while a suppose when I get to taste this filthy, convoluted, concoction.