from the mouths of babes

[abyss]

Years ago my young bloke about 5 answered the phone and I heard him say **** you then he slammed the phone down.
Who was that I asked and he replied just some ******* Indian sales man.

 

[Mardoo]

A few months ago one of the girls in our daycare was walking around, waving an Australian flag back and forth shouting, "Symbol, symbol!!!" Pretty damn meta for a 4-year old.

 

[Garfield]

A friend was driving across town with his granddaughter in back strapped into her booster chair. Despite being a rather uneventful drive, at some point the young one felt the need to exclaim this in an alarmingly deep tone for a 3 yr old: "yehhhhh... **** ya". Never did work out what she was referring to.

 

[Droopy Brew]

Reminded a conversation I overheard between my 2 boys a few years ago...

5yo: Isaac we are going to Richmond to dig up fossils of dinosaurs
3yo : and dogs
5yo: No Isaac, there were no dogs in the cretaceous period.

 

[decr]

A couple of days ago my 6yo was talking to his mum on the phone ans was whispering excitedly: "Guess where daddy is taking us tomorrow??? We're going to the beer festival!", mum is like "what!? Why? That doesn't sound too good", 6yo: "I'm getting a face paint!".

Result: I had 3 overpriced beers and the 6yo came out looking like Darth Maul and apparently I was the best daddy ever.

 

[decr]

So I was sitting at the dinner table with my 6yo boy just then (missing the little one :/) and I was saying that maybe I should find a lady or something to live with us. He said "but daddy you'll need hundreds of thousands of dollars if you do that". That shut me up.