Continuing Limericks Thread

[raven19]

Lets get this one started too shall we?

Here is one I had to share...
There once was a woman from Reno
Who spent most of her time playing Keno
She opened her crack
While flat on her back
Now she owns the whole f*cking Casino

 

[jonocarroll]

Lets get this one started too shall we?

There once was a man named Enis....

 

[brettprevans]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*nt, I would f*ck it."

 

[mash head]

I thik this ones from evans brother Rodney.

There was a young rabai named Kieth
who would cicumcise boys with his teeth
it wasnt for the cum or just for the fun
but to get at the cheese underneath

Greg :lol:

 

[AlwayzLoozeCount]

There was a young man from Bombay

who made a false fanny from clay

but the heat from his dick

turned the **** to a brick

and wore all his foreskin away

 

[smudge]

There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin
"If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out of it too."

There was a young girl from Baroda
Who built an erotic pagoda.
The walls of its halls
Were festooned with the balls
And the tools of the fools who bestrode her.

 

[yardy]

there was a young lad from the cape

he tried to bumfuck an ape

the ape said you fool

you'll bugger your tool

and push all my arse out of shape


there was a young lad named mcloud

he fingered his gal in a crowd

a bloke down the front, said i can smell c@nt

just like that, right out loud

 

[RobW]

A randy young plumber from Dee
Was plumbing a girl by the sea
Said she " Cease your plumbing, I think someone's coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

 

[spog]

there was a girl named Alice.
who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus.
they found her vagina in North Carolina.
and half of her anus in Dallas.


cheers.spog...

 

[6tri6ple6]

There was an old whore from Sydney
Who could take it right up to the kidney
A bloke from Quebec
Stuffed it up to her neck
Now, he had a big one now did'n he

 

[freezkat]

There once was a waitress named Dot
who's gratuity she earned a lot.
She once served a cheap leaper
Who sneezed when he used pepper
And the tip of his nose is all she got.


(I wrote that)


here's an oldie but goodie...



There Was Once A Man From Kent Whose Tool Was So Long That It Bent

To Save Him The Trouble He Put It In The Double

And Instead Of Coming He Went




and another...


There once was a gal from Decatur, who made love to a big aligator

Nobody knew the result of the screw

'cause after he laid'er he ate'er.

 

[yardy]

there was young lad named hopper

he had a helluva whopper

it went once round his guts

twice round his nuts

and up his arse for a stopper

 

[kalbarluke]

There once was a pirate called Yates
Who danced the flamenco on skates
He slipped on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And completely useless on dates.


There was a young lad from Gosham
Who took out his nuts to wash 'em
His mother said,"Jack
If you don't put them back
I'll stomp on the buggers and squash'em."

 

[Bribie G]

There was a young fraulein from Kiel
Had a **** that was made from blue steel
She got her thrills
From pneumatic drills
And off centred emery wheels

There was a young woman from Hants.
Took a ride with a busload of tramps
They all fucked her
Including the conductor
And the driver came twice in his pants