All this talk about judges in other threads makes me recall an experience over the weekend. So, Im down south with a dozen mates for a bucks weekend. Ive taken along my party keg/miracle box to christen, with a keg of hefe and one of a SNPA clone. The boys are all impressed, and being my 4th and 5th AG brews, Im really happy with them too. In fact, the only thing off-spec with them is that with higher than expected mash efficiency and over-attenuating yeast in the SNPA (91% using 1056), it ended up at 7.2%, nicely masked by the hopping, but enough to feel it after a few pints.
One of the boys lives down there and mentions to me that the bloke over the road is a keen homebrewer, and he told him wed take a jug over later to sample. Sounds good I said, always happy to meet another HBer. So we trundled over later that night, to be greeted by a group of 8 or so sitting round having beers, and the introductory line Oh youre not bringing that dark shit around we jumped the fence earlier while you were out and helped ourselves that is complete shit. Now, this is my much loved 7.2% APA, using fresh malt, smoothly bittered with Magnum and Perle, dry hopped with Cascade plugs, a lovely amber colour and an aroma to die for. I was a little taken aback.
Get this into you this just won a prize at the show, was the call made, and a glass put into my hand. It was carbonated just fine, was nice and clear, but an extract tang like there were a couple of rubber bands sitting in the bottom of the bottle. Now Im not knocking extract brewing I still do one now and then with a forgiving style, but a clean lager isnt that sort of style.
How do you like that eh? Thats a real beer. Its certainly crisp I offer, but not my favourite style.
What do you mean? Im asked. Its a lager, I say, and I prefer to make either ales, or a darker lager.
Oh, so youre calling that crap a style now are you? Mate, its just shit. Im a judge, and that is just shit. Too sweet, another guy offers. Im getting confused. Did I walk in with a sticker saying abuse me on my forehead? Did that guy just say this heavy-hopped beer is sweet? I do however note the correlation that this guy is a judge, and his beer has just won an award at the local show.
Other examples of the scintillating repartee I experienced in the 5 minutes I wasted lending my ear to this knob-jockey:
How many brews have you made - Ive made 340. Well, I replied, Ive been brewing on and off for about 12 years, but only really seriously the last 2 or 3. Ive started making all grain brews in the last few months.
What, you mean grain as in from scratch? Yes, I reply. From scratch. With fresh malt, hops and some good yeast strains
What a waste of time that is all you need is a Coopers lager, a kilo of sugar and whack it at 26 degrees (note - brewed in the shed with no temp control).
I left very shortly thereafter, begrudging the fact that Id just wasted 1140 mL of the 12L keg Id bought down on a guy and his mates, who in front of me, had sniffed the beer and tipped it on the grass. Only positive thing I could take out of the exchange was that at least he was a homebrewer, and he and his mates liked his beer better than commercial stuff.
I'm fairly certain this guy was NOT, I repeat in shiny neon letter, NOT a BJCP judge...
h34r:
One of the boys lives down there and mentions to me that the bloke over the road is a keen homebrewer, and he told him wed take a jug over later to sample. Sounds good I said, always happy to meet another HBer. So we trundled over later that night, to be greeted by a group of 8 or so sitting round having beers, and the introductory line Oh youre not bringing that dark shit around we jumped the fence earlier while you were out and helped ourselves that is complete shit. Now, this is my much loved 7.2% APA, using fresh malt, smoothly bittered with Magnum and Perle, dry hopped with Cascade plugs, a lovely amber colour and an aroma to die for. I was a little taken aback.
Get this into you this just won a prize at the show, was the call made, and a glass put into my hand. It was carbonated just fine, was nice and clear, but an extract tang like there were a couple of rubber bands sitting in the bottom of the bottle. Now Im not knocking extract brewing I still do one now and then with a forgiving style, but a clean lager isnt that sort of style.
How do you like that eh? Thats a real beer. Its certainly crisp I offer, but not my favourite style.
What do you mean? Im asked. Its a lager, I say, and I prefer to make either ales, or a darker lager.
Oh, so youre calling that crap a style now are you? Mate, its just shit. Im a judge, and that is just shit. Too sweet, another guy offers. Im getting confused. Did I walk in with a sticker saying abuse me on my forehead? Did that guy just say this heavy-hopped beer is sweet? I do however note the correlation that this guy is a judge, and his beer has just won an award at the local show.
Other examples of the scintillating repartee I experienced in the 5 minutes I wasted lending my ear to this knob-jockey:
How many brews have you made - Ive made 340. Well, I replied, Ive been brewing on and off for about 12 years, but only really seriously the last 2 or 3. Ive started making all grain brews in the last few months.
What, you mean grain as in from scratch? Yes, I reply. From scratch. With fresh malt, hops and some good yeast strains
What a waste of time that is all you need is a Coopers lager, a kilo of sugar and whack it at 26 degrees (note - brewed in the shed with no temp control).
I left very shortly thereafter, begrudging the fact that Id just wasted 1140 mL of the 12L keg Id bought down on a guy and his mates, who in front of me, had sniffed the beer and tipped it on the grass. Only positive thing I could take out of the exchange was that at least he was a homebrewer, and he and his mates liked his beer better than commercial stuff.
I'm fairly certain this guy was NOT, I repeat in shiny neon letter, NOT a BJCP judge...
h34r:
