Challenge - Spam Haiku

[Airgead]

Folks

On another (non beer) group I am a member of, there has been a thread going on where they are taking those anoying spam emails and turning them into haikus (don't ask how that got started).

Here are some samples -

Please to take my pill
It will make you grow larger
Offer expires soon

Your paypal account
Is no longer valid one
Click on link to fix

I am minister
My country is overrun
Take my money, please!

Those would me modern form haiku as they don't mention nature. Here are some more traditional ones -

Natural Beauty
Like the first blossom of spring
Purchase my skin cream

Exotic Women
Bare as trees in winter
Click here to see more

That last one had a couple of follow ups -

Are they very cold?
Imagine the evidence
Of their cooling down.

That is really good
I am in need of somewhere
to hang my jacket

After watching this for a while I decided to have a go and boy is it addictive. Here are some of mine -

Breasts like peas on plate
and desire something larger?
Buy this cream from me.

Buttocks like a peach,
this machine will lift and firm;
to prevent sagging.

Penis like a twig?
This pill will firm and lengthen.
Click here to purchase.

Most erotic teens
radiant like summer sun;
click here to see more.

It grows to the sky
hard and strong like tree in spring;
thanks to viagra

Anyone else fancy a go? 5 points for a modern one and 10 for the more challenging traditional.

I have too much time
on my hands at work today;
so I write spam haiku.


Cheers
Dave

P.S.. for those who don't know the haiku has 17 syllabels arranged in 3 lines of 5,7 and 5.

 

[neonmeate]

i think they're poetry already.



Get Y0ur Own Fount@1n
Of Y0uth! Human Growth H0rmone
Fr0m neXt Century!



impasse over as
worn scott out pasadena
vibrator. foursquare



shoal down grimace east.
Authorization needed
texas Jack rabbit

EMBROIDERED PATCHES
*...*OVERRUNS . POLICE, BOY SCOUT,
FIRE, MILITARY...***

0nline software,
Download Adobe, Windows,
others Instantly




how many points am i up to?

 

[jayse]

like wind in the trees
the dirty land of dot com
feast my eyes upon

remove the cobwebs
take a slow boat ride to sea
visit slut dot com


A shot I did have
Like po in the dusty grave
I am gone and gone

Stronger than death, me
superterrorizing brew
bleed black label bleed



Jayse

PS if theres any mistakes, mis counted syllabells then, umm eeer, who cares! :chug:

 

[Thommo]

I wandered in here thinking the Spam was the tinned variety...anyone know why Spam (emailed spam) is called spam. Actually, come to think of it, why if the tinned variety called spam too?

Damnit. Now I've got the Monty Python song in my head.

 

[Jim_Levet]

SPiced hAM
SPAM

 

[Simon W]

As for Email spam, no-one wants it, its rubbish.... just like the canned stuff.