Your Beer, Your Kids And Your Attitude

[RobB]

When I was a kid, my father would let me have a small sip of his beer or wine. It was only ever a tiny sip and I appreciated that it was a treat. Without ever being lectured, I was somehow aware of the effects of alcohol, who could and who shouldn't drink it and under-age binge drinking was something which held no temptation for me at all.

Fast forward to now and my nine year old daughter is also allowed a teaspoon sized sip of my drink. There are well established limits - If she tries to turn a sip into a gulp, she gets a boot up the bum and loses her 'sipping privileges', requests for a second sip are met with a flat "no" and she has to tell me about the beer or wine which she has just tasted. Did she pick up the banana in the hefeweizen? What fruit did the hops remind her of?

Hopefully, I'm creating a preference in her mind for quality over quantity. Part of my thinking is also following the Italian model, whereby kids are allowed small or diluted amounts of wine with meals, removing any mystique surrounding alcohol and developing a healthy appreciation for it.

The reason for me typing this? A couple of my nieces are allowed to have a drink at family gatherings, even though they are 16 and 17. They are only allowed one and their parents reason that they would rather them try alcohol under their watchful eye than at unsupervised parties. What made me wince was the choice of drink - alcopops. Their introduction to alcohol is some fluorescent blue concoction which is as sugary as the soft drinks they have always consumed. Maybe my opinions are a little coloured by snobbery, but I think the parents good intentions are being undone by the choice of beverage.

Am I just being a snob or do you think I have a point? What's your attitude to your kids around the endless supply of beer in your house?

 

[DU99]

i have always allowed my kids to sample what dad's drinking as my father did the same with me, i tend to think the kids that aren't allowed to drink are the troublesome ones in the pub scene,they dont how to handle it..now i have grand children and there not interested at the moment..but i wont go off the handle if there sneaking a sip..my grandkids actually watch brew and bottle

 

[bconnery]

Personally I will be trying to educate my kids on levels of responsible drinking and also drinking well, but am also realistic that at some point she well drink to excess as well all do while learning our limits in life.
Drink less drink better was a phrase I heard somewhere...

Related, but just a story I like to tell...
My 3 year old watched me serve some homebrew to some visitors and they went to take a sip at which she exclaimed 'No! You have to smell it first!"
I've taught her well already

 

[DU99]

Nice story..my 2nd eldest(28) dont drink at all,but she smells the beer and likes the aromatics..

 

[waggastew]

I grew up with the 'occasional sip' model. My parents drank good wine and the odd beer so it all tasted crap to me. I can imagine what I would have thought however if they drank Jim Beam cans or Breezers. Yummo, cordial!

The biggest effect on me was their drinking habits, one bottle of wine shared between them on a Saturday night (with the odd party thrown in). No regular drinking on week nights. Didn't see them pissy till I was 20.

Putting my own experiences aside and putting my scientist hat on the current research says this: Do not give your kids any alcohol at all. No sips, no watered down drinks, no nothing. Solid studies have found that giving your kids 3 cruisers to take to a party means they will drink three more drinks than they would have anyway. Plenty of people will raise the 'My parents gave me drinks......' defense but the empirical evidence does not support it.

As a Dad of a 9 month old I have thought and read about this quite alot. The general advice is this:

1. Drink how you want your kids to drink when they are adults
2. Don't give them alcohol ever
3. Pick them up from parties (when under aged) so you know if they have been drinking
4. NEVER buy alcohol to be consumed by others kids, even if this is at a private residence. It is against the law in NSW.

Sorry for the rant but the Aussie drinking culture has gotta change and that ain't gonna happen unless parents do something about it.

 

[j1gsaw]

My 2 older kids (3&4) are always annoying me to try whatever im drinking at the time, it usually ends up with them having a sip, getting mostly froth and followed by ewwww... little turds.. <_<

 

[Phoney]

I dont have kids myself, but ive had this discussion with new parents quite a few times. Some are of your persuasion, others are of the no-way-hosay opinion.

Personally, my sisters & I were allowed to have a can of Tooheys 2.2 (remember that stuff?) with dinner very, very occasionally (like once a year) from about age 10 onwards. Whereas my best mate over the road was never even allowed a sip. The result? Well, the both of us still snuck into his dad's garage and nicked a couple of stubbies to go and drink in the back paddock and fall over and giggle every now and then. Then when we were 16/17 we went to parties in people's paddocks and skulled entire bottles of cheap rum and then proceeded to puke our guts up for the rest of the night - and regretted it for next 3 weeks after.... So my point is kids & teenagers will always try and seek out booze on their own to be naughty - just like with cigarette's - no matter what their parents attitude is imo... Whether it's just a part of growing up, or a part of Aussie culture I dunno... But I reckon we've all been there.

 

[MarkBastard]

I don't have any kids, but I'd let them sip my home brew to see what it tastes like, and when they're at drinking age (about 15/16) I'd let them drink but make sure they know some advice before hand.

The girls you've talked about probably drink lolly-water every weekend. And yes you are being a bit snobby about it.

Wagga, each to their own, but the government are ******s and the Australian drinking culture doesn't need changing. The Australian wowser culture is what needs changing.

 

[DU99]

and who leads the wowser culture..the reformed drunks that my view

 

[MarkBastard]

I dunno to be honest. Some people lack the capacity to think outside the square the media keeps them in. Some people genuinely are teetotallers. Some people take pleasure in sticking their noses in other peoples business. Some people give up their freedom for their perceived 'safety' way too easily.

The common theme is the lack of empathy. Most people are happy for things they don't care about to be banned, as long as they can still do the things they do care about.

 

[InCider]

My three year old has his own fermenter.. :blink:



He cleans it, puts sticks in it, has his own piece of hose to drain water into it....

Since he (youngest ) and the middle one were born I've been brewing. The middle one (girl) has always helped brew, and loves the water and cleaning aspect of the whole business just like the smallest kiddy.

They see me have a beer or two when i get home from work, sometimes they help me pour from the tap!

Can I shield them from this? Sure. Will I? Nah.... but I am responsible, and they mimic that. They did ask why I hadn't shared Baa Bra with the other pool toys though.

If only I hadn't yelled '****' when I bumped my alarm clock/weather station into the fermenter one day! :lol:

 

[jasonharley]

Arh the Australian Women's Christian Temperance Movement............

 

[Braumoasta]

I was brought up having the occasional sip of mum or dads wine or beer at dinner, or while dad was cooking a bbq. As someone has already mentioned, it is now recommended not to give underage children any alcohol whatsoever. All I have to say is what a load of bulls dust. The truth is a lot of teenagers are going to find a way of getting alcohol, whether it be stealing it from the parents or getting it from external sources. If by small chance they get to legal drinking age without ever having had a sip of alcohol, how the hell are they supposed to know how much alcohol they can handle or what the effects of alcohol are. A slow but steady introduction to alcohol, in my opinion, is the best method. As they are reaching legal drinking age, let them understand what alcohol can do, the good and the bad. Let them know they have to manage their alcohol consumption, and try to the best of your abilities to teach them that alcohol is a great thing when savoured for what it is, like good food. It should not be seen as a method of forgetting problems, or just getting pissed.

 

[wobblythongs]

Is it Germany where the legal age to buy beer only is 16 until they turn 18 then can buy anything they please.

 

[Braumoasta]

Is it Germany where the legal age to buy beer only is 16 until they turn 18 then can buy anything they please.

Yes, Beer and wine at 16, everything else at 18.

 

[pbrosnan]

I don't have any kids, but I'd let them sip my home brew to see what it tastes like, and when they're at drinking age (about 15/16) I'd let them drink but make sure they know some advice before hand.

The girls you've talked about probably drink lolly-water every weekend. And yes you are being a bit snobby about it.

Wagga, each to their own, but the government are ******s and the Australian drinking culture doesn't need changing. The Australian wowser culture is what needs changing.

Have to disagree. Somethings wrong when it's verboten to sell booze in a supermarket or deli. Is it because we can't be trusted or is it to protect a few vested interests? A bit of both I'd suggest. Still, idiots manage to create enough havoc to ruin it for the rest of us.

 

[praxis178]

Is it Germany where the legal age to buy beer only is 16 until they turn 18 then can buy anything they please.

I believe that's true of Denmark as well. Always freaks me out reading what the cousins get up to (most are 15-18), till I remember that beer is ok for their age group over there..... No binge drinking culture to speak of over there, do the kids over there get drunk, yes from time to time, but more often than not they have two or three stubbies and chat/listen to music/watch tv.

Oh yeah I'm of the sip at dinner etc. generation, as is my sister (my other brother and sister aren't, guess which have the problem), oh yeah I started brewing while in grade 11, didn't get to drink any though. :angry:

 

[Steve@PMF82]

I got to try most things my parents were into. Fine foods, expensive wines and the odd crownie ect.
Id say it increased my appreciation of good foods and drink and encourage me to try different things.
Nowdays i will happily try any foods or drink.

I had friends that were treated like mushrooms, when they hit 17 - 18 it was on for years to come.
I still had a bit if a binge drinking sesh now and then but it was short lived and turned my attention to
finding quality things that i enjoy instead of getting blazed.

But i think when it comes to intoxicants of all kinds its a very fine line between education and possible conditioning
into having a substance abuse problem.
Moderation and appreciation need to be taught along with it.

 

[waggastew]

Coupla things to think about and fuel the discussion:

1. People have a habit of viewing their own drinking habits as 'normal' while seeing others as 'a problem'. Here is a great example from my work place. My boss and his wife go to the Hunter Valley for a vintage dinner for a winery they subscribe to. Have a great time, drink too much wine, wife spews in the loo, much hilarity as the boss tells us at lunchtime the next week. General view is what a great night. Four weeks later the boss' 18yo son falls over in a bathroom at a party and breaks his shoulder. Promising basketball career over for ever. Boss and wife both think that teenage drinking culture is terrible......

2. Mark^Bastard - Don't you think there is a need to change the way Aussies drink? Not all Aussies, but a significant proportion of the population? I agree that it should not be a matter of the government telling us what we HAVE to do. But surely they should tell us we SHOULD do based on solid medical research? Surely it is our responsibility particularly as parents to do the best for our kids based on the best information we have to hand, not just our personal views/experiences? I know that sounds a bit formal but there are so many areas where people raise their kids based on their own ideas that are either outdated, ill informed or just plain wrong. Prime examples include anti-vaccination, anti-fluoride groups etc.

3. Thomas J. - Denmark ranks equal with Britain in OECD countries in terms of under age drinking (number of times 13-15yo have been drunk). Having said that if I lived in a country where it was dark half the year I would be tempted to get loaded every night. I still remember going out for breakfast in Copenhagen with some locals and getting a free shot of schnapps with my breakfast platter. SKOL!

4. There is a large amount of research coming out that points to significant harm associated with drinking between the ages of 14-18 years of age. We are talking about prime time laying down of brain circuitry time. In my area we have kids who are 14/15 getting smashed EVERY weekend. Funnily enough they seem to be a bit rusty at school on Monday mornings! What kind of patterns is this setting up for the future? Where the f&%k are their parents?

Either way it is and should be a personal choice. Having kids made me think long and hard about how much (an how often) I drink. There are so many variables, who knows if my daughter will have the 'mmmmm more vodka' gene?

Stew

 

[Tony]

I got to try most things my parents were into. Fine foods, expensive wines and the odd crownie ect.
Id say it increased my appreciation of good foods and drink and encourage me to try different things.
Nowdays i will happily try any foods or drink.

I had friends that were treated like mushrooms, when they hit 17 - 18 it was on for years to come.
I still had a bit if a binge drinking sesh now and then but it was short lived and turned my attention to
finding quality things that i enjoy instead of getting blazed.

But i think when it comes to intoxicants of all kinds its a very fine line between education and possible conditioning
into having a substance abuse problem.
Moderation and appreciation need to be taught along with it.

+1

Oh this is exactly what i was going to post so i will save the time and agree!

My Dad worked for Tooheys all my life. I grew up with drinking all around me, but it was always in moderation, and i was always alowed a taste when i asked.

YEah i snuck piss here and there when i was a teen but thats a human nature thing of the teenager. If Alcahol was not available and C4 was...... i would have gone and blown **** up! Its how it is wit hsome kids, that will never change.

I had a period of binging but this was linked with a period of deep depression and a dark part of my life where i lost most of my late 20's to working 14 hr days, 7 days a week.

I dug out of that hole eventually and turned to the finer things in life, i wanted to experience what life had to offer, and still do.

quality over quantity!

The only time i have been fall down drunk in the last 15 years in when Ducatiboystu came for the day and we pollished off a bottle of turky before lunch...... and then some after.

I will NEVER get that drunk again i tell ya!

I have been doing some thinking about all this lately. I have a step son...... turnes 17 this year. When my bro and i sample a fine single malt, i will let him have a sniff and say...... smell the peat smoke, or the leather, or the salt. We talk to him about flavours and aromas, and i can see he is interested in the fine side of it. I talk to him about drinking responsibly and what happens if you dont...... how it can all go wrong and cause your drunk, you dont know till its too late.

He has just got his L's and i liken alcahol to driving. I strongly believe driving should part of highschool education, and when a 16 yearold gets his or her L's they should already know the basics of car control before they are let loose on the road in traffic.

What happens when a fresh learner gets in a car and even under adult supervision, tries to drive on a busy road?

Its all bad.

Alcahol IMO is similar, not the same but similar in theory

cheers