Weight Loss And Bad Jokes.

[olskoolsoulja]

Hi Beer Lovers,

Just so you can get a Picture of this story,

Im 2 meters Tall . This time last year I was hitting the scales at close to 120KG ( as will be the case this time next year)
I was Half Harold Bishop 1/2 Thorpy(current).
Anyway , I had to go overseas for 6 months and couldn't DRINK!!
I dropped over 18kg!!! After over a month on the piss , I'm only just breaking the tonne club again . (clap now!! , Weight is like cricket - only real men are in the 100 club [CHEERS and SHOUTS!!!] Wow.)

People comment all the time on all the weight I have 'LOST ' .....

I tell them - " it's not 'LOST ' It's waiting for ME in the bottom of a BEER glass! "
And then , The little giggles start .. They think I'm joking..

The Bloke who relived me overseas asked with a big smile - "will I lose so much weight ?"
My question to him was ingenuous ! - "do you drink 10 pints a night?"
With a very Dejected! look on his face his reply was " I don't Drink".

SO the moral of the story is elementary if you want to loss weight FAST!!
DRINK MORE BEER!

Rich

 

[InCider]

Jeez Rich! Rub it in!

for me the equation is thus:

beer = skinny

no beer - 5 kg more that SOW (standard operating weight)

I think that this may occur:

beer = full
full = lazy
lazy = salt and vinegar chips for dinner

 

[mika]

It's damn annoying, I was heading for the 'fat lard' club, so I cut back my beer intake (slightly <_< ) and increased physical exercise, and now the weights starting to move off, but it means it takes forever to empty a keg and all these lovely beers I wanted to brew .. well put it this way...I'll have completed this years 'to brew' list sometime in the year 2011

 

[olskoolsoulja]

I noticed that the people who use 'ICE' are skinny !!!
and as a bonus you don't have to work!

 

[olskoolsoulja]

Also,
if you were lucky enough to be there at the time (1600's)
It was said that the beer of Einbeck did not fatten !!!!

 

[dial90]

I have been researching beer and dieting, and often joke about coming up with a recipe for the perfect breakfast beer. But it is not as funny as it sounds. According to dietitians you should eat less carbs towards the end of the day, which means a good stout for breakfast is the perfect meal.

So based on that theory I have reorganized my day like this:

5:00am Wake up
5:30am Several pints of beer
7:30am Big bowl of pasta for breakfast
12:00pm Salad for lunch
12:30pm Drink water for the rest of the day. Good to flush the kidneys.
6:00pm 1 hour at the gym to burn off excess calories for the day
7:30pm Fruit for dinner
9:30pm Sleep

In theory it looks like it would work.

 

[PostModern]

I have been researching beer and dieting, and often joke about coming up with a recipe for the perfect breakfast beer. But it is not as funny as it sounds. According to dietitians you should eat less carbs towards the end of the day, which means a good stout for breakfast is the perfect meal.

So based on that theory I have reorganized my day like this:

5:00am Wake up
5:30am Several pints of beer
7:30am Big bowl of pasta for breakfast
12:00pm Salad for lunch
12:30pm Drink water for the rest of the day. Good to flush the kidneys.
6:00pm 1 hour at the gym to burn off excess calories for the day
7:30pm Fruit for dinner
9:30pm Sleep

In theory it looks like it would work.

So long as you don't have to work or drive between 5:30am and 12:00pm

 

[mika]

I've oft wondered what it would be like to rock up to work on the juice. Guess it's probably not a good idea if you've got to operate machinery, probably fine if you're a school teacher or something like that :huh:

 

[PostModern]

I've oft wondered what it would be like to rock up to work on the juice. Guess it's probably not a good idea if you've got to operate machinery, probably fine if you're a school teacher or something like that :huh:

Not if you teach my kids! What are you thinking?

 

[mika]

I'm thinking...Gee, those little runts have really gotten to me, I think I'm starting today with a tripel

 

[yardy]

I noticed that the people who use 'ICE' are skinny !!!
and as a bonus you don't have to work!

:lol:

I've oft wondered what it would be like to rock up to work on the juice.

on a construction job a couple of years ago the bus from the camp to site would leave at 5.30, more than once we downed the last beer 10 minutes before getting on the bus ( more often than not, still in yesterdays work clothes :lol: ), it's all good until about smoko when you start to sober up and then a hell hangover sets in.

Cheers
Yardy

 

[olskoolsoulja]

I have been researching beer and dieting, and often joke about coming up with a recipe for the perfect breakfast beer. But it is not as funny as it sounds. According to dietitians you should eat less carbs towards the end of the day, which means a good stout for breakfast is the perfect meal.

So based on that theory I have reorganized my day like this:

5:00am Wake up
5:30am Several pints of beer
7:30am Big bowl of pasta for breakfast
12:00pm Salad for lunch
12:30pm Drink water for the rest of the day. Good to flush the kidneys.
6:00pm 1 hour at the gym to burn off excess calories for the day
7:30pm Fruit for dinner
9:30pm Sleep

In theory it looks like it would work.

Just swap - pasta for breaky(BEER), salad for lunch(BEER) ,Gym [which is for homos] ( SLEEP ) and Fruit for dinner (STEAK AND BEER) and you would have the best idea EVER.
you could add varitey by changing beers. and just by caring you will Lose the pounds!
(it's true . George . W . Bush does it ) though you will need things like fishing and golf to piss you off, because if you are that drunk you are not going to give two f---ks what your boss has to say!!