Post Natal Depression

[Linz]

Found out the W&P wont have the RIS on by then(but will around june/july),but still coming down

 

[0M39A]

Hang in there mate.

Depression is a cruel affliction, but so long as you keep your head up things will get better.

Just be as strong as you can for your wife, but, the other important thing is, dont neglect to take care of yourself, and ask for help if you need it, otherwise you could end up in the same boat.

I've been battling depression for some time now myself, but through seeing councilors, taking (and then consequently adjusting) medication and eventually some personal breakthroughs things do get better.

 

[jkeysers]

Just stumbled across this thread from a week or 2 and wanted to post.

Firstly, Steve, it sounds like a shit of a situation, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. As a guy who is just about to become a father, I was sitting here reading through this thread shaking. Trying to imagine, I don't know what would be worse, worrying for the new baby, or seeing someone you love so much change like that. I sincerely do hope it all works out for you and your family.

Secondly, for those with experience in this, as I said, I am about to become a Dad for the first time, and have very little experience with babies/mothers or any of this stuff. Obviously i'm nervous/anxious about the whole thing, but I'm terrified of something like Steve's situation happening to me. What are some of the signs I need to look out for and how can I help my wife through these early stages?

 

[FazerPete]

Secondly, for those with experience in this, as I said, I am about to become a Dad for the first time, and have very little experience with babies/mothers or any of this stuff. Obviously i'm nervous/anxious about the whole thing, but I'm terrified of something like Steve's situation happening to me. What are some of the signs I need to look out for and how can I help my wife through these early stages?

I think all new mothers get a bit tired, grumpy and depressed at first but I think the key symptom is an inability to bond with the baby. The vast majority of mothers are fine so don't panic at this stage but if you don't see those maternal instincts kick in once she gets home then try and talk to her about it and don't let it fester.

I let it go on far too long before I did anything and it almost cost us everything with her becoming suicidal. Everything is much better now after treatment.

 

[jkeysers]

Cheers mate. I just wanna be prepared I guess. Fingers crossed i'm lucky and I don't need to be.

 

[Steve]

My wife is slowly getting better. She's had 5 ECTs now. She is not delusional/dilerous anymore. She doesnt believe she killed our baby....things are looking up. She'll still be in the Pysch ward for another month maybe (farkin scary place that). Im mentally and physically exhausted looking after the two boys....but coping (just). Ive seen a counsellor and I broke down. She called my boss and told her to reduce my work days. So now the boys spend the night at their Nanas on Thursday and stay there all day Friday and I stay at home on Friday to do absolutely NOTHING - its heaven. Sorry for rambling. Its like a nightmare...not knowing when its going to be back to normal.
Cheers
Steve

 

[Stuster]

Sounds like a hugely stressful time, Steve, but also seems like you are getting through it. It must be really hard to be a working single parent suddenly, with a baby to take care of too. But getting some time by yourself one day a week (to sleep as well) will help a lot I'm sure. (Brewing?) And now you can see some light at the end of the tunnel perhaps. Hope you can keep see it through and get your wife/family/life back.

 

[Steve]

Sounds like a hugely stressful time, Steve, but also seems like you are getting through it. It must be really hard to be a working single parent suddenly, with a baby to take care of too. But getting some time by yourself one day a week (to sleep as well) will help a lot I'm sure. (Brewing?) And now you can see some light at the end of the tunnel perhaps. Hope you can keep see it through and get your wife/family/life back.

Thanks Stu....Fridays I sleep in and then lounge around doing nothing, have a few beers....I cant believe I didnt actually think of doing an AG :blink: Must be tired!
Cheers
S

 

[Stuster]

I can believe it. Tired sounds like an understatement and a sleep in must be great. But sometimes doing something for yourself can be as good as having a rest. All the best with it anyway.

 

[Barramundi]

good luck with it all steve cant say as i know what youre going through or your wife for that matter, but all i can say is hopefully things will all turn out for the best in the long run......

cheers Ned

 

[Ross]

Just found this thread & want to offer my best wishes to you & your family, Steve - I know we don't know each other that well, but pick up the phone to me any time mate if you fancy a chat...a problem shared can be so much easier to cope with & just a change a voice can work wonders when you're down.
Chin up mate...it'll come good I'm sure.

Cheers Ross...

 

[Steve]

Just found this thread & want to offer my best wishes to you & your family, Steve - I know we don't know each other that well, but pick up the phone to me any time mate if you fancy a chat...a problem shared can be so much easier to cope with & just a change a voice can work wonders when you're down.
Chin up mate...it'll come good I'm sure.

Cheers Ross...

Cheers Ross
I might just do that on the weekend. Appreciate it more than you can imagine.
Steve

 

[Steve]

Well a few very loooooong weeks have passed. My wife has been transferred from the locked down pysch ward to another hospital here in Canberra. Its much nicer. She has had 12 ECTs and is expected to have more. She is now allowed to have the baby with her during the day. I drop him off in the morning and pick him up at night. Its like an adjustment for her....they are taking it very slowly. My 2 year old is driving me crazy. Im drinking too much. Not getting enough sleep. Havent made beer in a month - just cant be stuffed. The kegs are empty...but my wife is getting better thats all that counts. Probably another couple of weeks to go.
Cheers
Steve

 

[Maxt]

You able to make the club meeting Thursday? I can arrange a lift for you, you sound like yuou need to get out for a few hours.
Beers
Matt

 

[Steve]

You able to make the club meeting Thursday? I can arrange a lift for you, you sound like yuou need to get out for a few hours.
Beers
Matt

Cheers Matt, but unfortunately not. Martin has already called to see if I need a lift. I cant make it to this one. Appreciate the offer though.
Cheers
Steve

 

[Doogiechap]

Mate, my heart goes out to ya ! Most blokes love tackling a good practical problem and solving it ! I know your situation will take a lot of time and patience to get through ! Hang in there ! FWIW you have a lot of folk here on the forum wishing you all the best ! (me included).Take care, sleep well (when it's available).
Cheers
Doug

 

[DarkFaerytale]

wish i lived closer Steve, i'd be happy to fill those kegs for you. Good to see things are getting better

-Phill

 

[mattwest]

Steve,
Having personally been through it as well, all I can say is stick in there, seek help where you can and keep your chin up. There are no easy answers, just a lot of hard work. It puts a lot of pressure on a bloke when you are trying to juggle extra family commitments and work. At times it will seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel but hang in there because it will come to an end. Ultimately you will be the stabilising force that your wife needs.

Getting through it will be one of the most fulfilling things you ever do. One of the positives to come out of it is I now appreciate what I have a lot more and I appreciate every single day I get to come home and see my family.

Matt

 

[Fingerlickin_B]

Steve, I haven't brewed in over a month now...but...if you want a keg just let me know...I've got three carbing right now (no-chills) and can easily live without one of them

With the two little fellas it must be almost impossible even to do kits, so let me know if you need any help in that regard too.

You have my number and I haven't been on here very frequently of late, so best to just call if you need anything as mentioned above...or anything else for that matter :beer:

Cheers,
Blake.

 

[Rysa]

Wow, it's great to see so many people supporting their fellow man no matter the distance.

My email is open all the same as many others have offered.
Take care and thry;re are a lot of people here for you.