Post Natal Depression

[Steve]

Anyone else had the misfortune to see their wife go through this? My wife is now into her third week of severe post natal depression. Its now at the stage that she goesnt even acknowledge the existence of our 2 year old boy and 2 month old boy. Its F*&^kin horrible.
Cheers
Steve

 

[FazerPete]

I feel for you mate. My missus went through it after the birth of our second and it's not something I'd wish on anyone including the father who gets stuck in the middle of it all.

You need to get her to see someone as soon as possible. I thought it would go away and I could handle it but it lasted for 2 years and put a huge strain on our marriage. I finally got her to see a doctor about it and get her on to anti depressants and things are great now except I can still see that she's not quite as close to our second son as to our first.

Don't worry about the drugs, they aren't sedatives but it takes a little time to get the right drug and dosage but if you want to stay together and sane then it needs to be done.

Best of luck

 

[Steve]

Cheers FP.
I took her to her GP two weeks ago and she was given sleeping tablets and anti depressents. They didnt work and she was going down hill rapidly so I took her to her psychiatrist last week and he has given her stronger tablets. Unfortunately he said its the worst case hes ever seen and she should be in hospital....but she refuses to go. Shes going to see her shrink again on Monday. Its tough.
Steve

 

[FazerPete]

Hang in there mate. The anti depressants take 4-8 weeks to really start showing an effect so don't give up hope yet. It's really important that bubs still gets lots of attention during this period so it's extra hard for you because you've got 2 big responsibilities.

 

[Steve]

4-8 weeks!
I think i'll either be insane myself or will have turned into an alcholic by then
Cheers fella
Stev e

 

[Wortgames]

Funnily enough I have a mate going through this now, and I was just chatting to another mate who has just come through it.

The partner of the first guy (actually, it's the guy who is supposed to be welding for me) has turned into an absolute monster, refuses to seek help, and the relationship has finally split up for good. Her parents have become involved, and everyone just hopes they can get her the help she needs for the sake of the kid.

The other mate was fortunately able to get medical help for her, and said the same thing - it takes weeks for the meds to work (and they usually have to try a couple of different options) and they may start off with some really strong knock-out drops initially. But over a few weeks she started to improve and now things are pretty good.

You've got to get the pro's involved, it is unlikely to get better by itself, and you've got to try every trick in the book. Maybe even get her parents involved - she's not thinking straight and you need to make the tough calls for her.

Best of luck to you both!

 

[barneyhanway]

My wife was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with anxiety, a step away from depression.
Luckily its mild enough that she was able to make a few lifestyle changes and is taking some naturopathic concoction instead of the anti depressants. I don't hold any stock in that mumbo jumbo, so I put the improvement down to the lifestyle changes rather than the herbs.

Out of our coffee group of 12 about 5 wives got some form of post natal depression, a couple pretty serious. We've had numerous friends go through it too.

It truly amazes me how common it is.

Hang in there mate, I know it's tough to help someone who won't help themself, but push, hard. It's better than the alternative.

 

[Wortgames]

I don't hold any stock in that mumbo jumbo, so I put the improvement down to the lifestyle changes rather than the herbs.

Don't understimate the herbs! Anything the doc gives her will have come from some plant or other anyway.

St John's Wort is still one of the most well-regarded antidepressants.

But, as long as something's working, it's all good :beer:

 

[Maxt]

While your wife needs help, you also need to look after yourself and the kids.
It's not weak to ask for help, in fact it's stupid not to. Now's the time to call in some favours and get any relations and friends (that you can stand) to come and spend a bit of time with you.
In days gone by, everyone you were related to probably lived within a day or so of you. You had enormous support networks. Now we all live in these little isolated brick cells with neighbours all around that we wave to, but who aren't much help in times like this.

If you don't look after yourself, and blow off some steam, you end up becoming someone your wife and kids don't need, cranky, depressed, stressed, sick etc.

Time to get on the phone!

If there's anything I can do to help let me know.

P.S
I was all set to go to the big brew day at Fatboy's tomorrow, but I have to look after my 3 kids as my wife is away for the weekend. If you want to drop round for a beer (with the kids) over the weekend, PM me.

Matt

 

[Rysa]

It's good to see that a bloke can chat and get a kind helpful response from others, bloody good to see.
Hang in there mate, lots of people to chat to and help you along here.

 

[Brownie]

Steve,

These things to take time to take effect....the body needs to reach a saturation point. But the medication may not be right, and a different may need to be tried.

At least your wife is seeing a shrink, that is where she needs to be.

No I am not a shrink or a doctor....just have personal experiences.

Mate you also need someone to talk to or even just time.......

Also men don't often talk about these things....well done mate....

Brownie.

 

[NRB]

My mate's wife spent more than 6 months in hospital and received electro convulsive therapy after the birth of their first... you're certainly not alone Steve. I wish her a speedy recovery. The professionals know what they're doing.

 

[Steve]

Thanks all for your comments - i appreciate it. Im just back from the hospital. I had to have her admitted to the psych ward here in Woden (canberra). The clincher was when I got home from work yesterday she told me she had murdered the baby by giving him ajax to drink. This oviously didnt happen, hes well. I promised her I wouldnt admit her but I had to. I'm not qualified to look after her.
Cheers
Steve

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

My partner also suffers PND, and she also suffered depresion before having kids..

It definatly isnt pretty. They tune out, cry, give up, get cranky, forget stuff and have a general feeling of not being able to cope along with the feeling that they are a bad and terrible mother..

My partner is getting counseling, after our 2nd child. And it does help. She also suffers anxiety and is getting help in ways of relaxation without drugs. Seems to work.

We have a great free community help center here in Grafton ( funded by the government...) that offers all sorts of help. She even has a voulunter come out once a week for a chat over coffee.

It will get better, it is just unpleasant to go thru, and you will have to make some adjustments.

Good luck

 

[microbe]

Best of luck Steve - Good on you for making the hard call when you had to.

I can only echo what others have said about looking after yourself as well.

 

[Brownie]

Steve,

Thoughts with you mate, hang in there and you made the right choice. She may be angry at you now, but she will thankyou in the long run.

Trust me....

Brownie.

 

[Steve]

Best of luck Steve - Good on you for making the hard call when you had to.

I can only echo what others have said about looking after yourself as well.

Thanks all for you comments....I appreciate it. Shes due to start electro convulsive therapy either today or tomorrow.

 

[MSR]

Hi Steve

My wife suffers from depression and after having our child had to be admitted to hospital with PND. Having your wife in hospital is the best thing for both of you, she needs the right help. Like others have said you really have to look after yourself too, it is really stressful and emotional, but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

If you can get along to a support group some time to talk about it, the hospital should have some good contacts.

Hang in there mate.

MSR.

 

[Linz]

If you can get along to a support group some time to talk about it, the hospital should have some good contacts.



MSR.

From my own experience with being diagnosed with t2 diabetes.

The GP threw a couple of scripts at me and said "take them for the rest of your life", THATS IT !!!! no 'drop dead, kiss my foot; NOTHING!!!

The look on my face as I walked into the chemist must have been a treat, as one of the service girls spotted the 'deer in the head lights', and asked if I was OK. I explained the previous and she called one of the other women over, who is also a diabetic, and she pointed me toward the local hospital for the diabetes educators and help group.

A couple of sessions and a new GP and I was clued into what its all about and back to the road of recovery(lost 15+kg and last HBA1c blood test said it was the results of a non diabetic subject or one with extremely well managed diabetes) and another blood test on Wednesday.

Now I'm up for the follow up sessions with the educators

I'm not saying this is in any way in the magnitude of your situation; but its just to illustrate that there is a support network out there and they can work really well for you if you find out where they are.

PS Little squares and I will be down in the 'bearer of cans' in a couple of weeks for the W&P RIS, come and have a beer, but one only.......

 

[Steve]

Hey guys - just want to thank everyone for their PMs and kind words.

Linz - I may take you up on that beer - never turn down an invite to the W&P.

Cheers all
Steve