Dog Ate My Grain

[Kai]

mmm.... i'm salivating.

That must be the rush of saliva you get right before throwing up.

 

[Darren]

I had the pleasure of tasting one of GL's dog turd ale. Was the best porter I have ever had.

cheers

Darren

 

[Kingy]

be a great beer for a "hair of the dog" would sort anybody out who's hungover.

 

[haysie]

I had the pleasure of tasting one of GL's dog turd ale. Was the best porter I have ever had.

cheers

Darren

I`ll remain gullible!!!

 

[sah]

*wiping the tears away* Very funny thread.

I hadn't seen the size 14 frozen chicken idea, a classic.

My dogs love both fresh and spent grain, a little they cope with but too much makes 'em constipated. It's really horrible to watch too, the poor little things trying to squeeze out a grain brick.

Scott

 

[OzBeer_MD]

It's really horrible to watch too, the poor little things trying to squeeze out a grain brick.

Scott

But you watch none-the-less :unsure:

 

[sah]

But you watch none-the-less :unsure:

One time I helped.

 

[SJW]

One time I helped.

Too much info! :angry:

 

[newguy]

One time I helped.

That reminds me. Just before my wife and I got married, we acquired two cats. One was a fuzzy pig at heart and wouldn't stop eating until the dish was empty. A huge glutton. One evening he ran past my wife and kind of yowled at her. He was acting very unusual and further investigation revealed the problem. A huge turd was cresting through his anus, but too large to pass. Imagine trying to close your lips around a basketball in your mouth - that's what it looked like.

So I took him to the vet college. I worked at the university at the time and employees got a discount, so I took the cat in. This cat was completely freaked out. He couldn't ****, he got taken for a car ride, and he ended up at the vet college. A cat's idea of hell. By this point it was about 9pm, so I just left him in their hands for the night. The next morning on my way into work I stopped to check in on him. They had manually extracted what they could, given him 3 enemas, and 3 doses of a heavy duty laxative. The poor cat was so freaked that he just sat in his cage and made no effort to relieve himself at all.

After work I picked him up and took him home. He still hadn't passed anything despite another enema and a further two doses of laxative. The vet felt that he was just too worked up to go and that being in a familiar environment would help. He gave me a bottle of laxative with instructions to administer it liberally over the coming week. I sure as hell didn't need it.

Let me tell you, putting that many laxatives & enemas in a normal sized cat is kind of like shaking up a can of coke just before you give it to a friend. That cat started shitting 5 minutes after I got him home and didn't stop for about an hour. The next day we had to wash every flat surface he paused on as.....ahem....the integrity of his seal was compromised. To put it bluntly, he leaked for about 2 days afterward. Damn cat.

 

[bonj]

I just wanted to say "The dog ate my homework".

Newguy, I feel for you, but must agree with wally... it makes for a bloody funny story.

 

[winkle]

Beats the hell out of the - "my cat tracked beer all through the house" story a while back LOL

 

[kabooby]

You will be picking up health bars of the grass for the next few days

Anyone had a nutrigrain breakfast bar

 

[joshuahardie]

While i was mashing on saturday, i washed the dog,
let her go outside to dry off.

then found all these white footprints through the house.

somehow the dog had squeezed her way into a mostly empty 25kg bag of grain, eaten what was left, and was covered from head to toe in flour and grit, and started walking white doughy footprints everywhere.

How a great dane can get inside a grain bag ill never know.

 

[Kleiny]

This is the funniest thread ive read
it just keeps coming

 

[glennheinzel]

A huge turd was cresting through his anus

he leaked for about 2 days afterward

New Guy - Thanks. That's the funniest story that I've read in ages.

Back on topic(ish) - As I was emptying the spent grain out of the mash tun the other day, I turned around and noticed my son (nearly 2) getting stuck into the moist grain. Luckily he only got a mouthful in before I stopped him.

 

[Doogiechap]

New Guy - Thanks. That's the funniest story that I've read in ages.

Back on topic(ish) - As I was emptying the spent grain out of the mash tun the other day, I turned around and noticed my son (nearly 2) getting stuck into the moist grain. Luckily he only got a mouthful in before I stopped him.

You mustn't have sparged enough bloke with lots of yummy sugars :lol: .
I keep catching my son helping himself to my grains when I am measuring out for as batch. I figure a handful out of the base malt won't make too much difference, the second and third scoops are diverted to the inventory stock
Love this thread !

 

[glennheinzel]

You mustn't have sparged enough bloke with lots of yummy sugars :lol:

I did have a stuck sparge so its no surprise that the grain still had sugar in it.

 

[Lukes]

I dump the spent grain under the roses and sometimes when it gets funky the dogs take a liking and kindly deposit it around the yard.
I am glad they are only little dogs.
It's worse when they roll in it (funky spent grain) and then come and jump on the couch.

- Luke

Posting just before going to Lunch :icon_vomit:

 

[petesbrew]

I've got tears in my eyes from that post, newguy. hilarious