Laws Of 21st Century Life

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Zizzle

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse.
 
Murphys Law: If there is a 50/50 chance of guessing an answer, you will get it wrong 75% of the time.
 
Hahaha, very nice indeed. Gotta add the real Murphys Law here though, it fits well:

"If there are two equally probable outcomes, and one is less desirable then the other, it is this outcome that will manifest itself with the greatest frequency."

Maybe this is why no-one can ever make a totally perfect beer :(

EDIT: Just printed out a copy and stuck it to the common-room wall in my dorm, haha.
 
My workshop law is " The nut/bolt that is the hardest to get to is always the tightest". As a maintenance fitter, i can get into some greasy, cramped spots, and the above law is always proven correct to me!
 

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