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Sorry to any Irish person I am about to offend or any other sensitive soul(seems to be a few) A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher...

This is a genuine mistake made in Ireland. This was actually sold in the supermarkets until they twigged!

Since singer Susan Boyle has been on TV there's been a marked drop in suicide bombings. Apparently, a lot of terrorists didn't realize what a virgin looked like.