Linz
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- Joined
- 11/12/02
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At New York's Kennedy airport today an individual,
later discovered to be a public school teacher,
was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare,
a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general
John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member
of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math
instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes,
and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns',
but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons
of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes."
later discovered to be a public school teacher,
was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare,
a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general
John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member
of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math
instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes,
and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns',
but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons
of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes."
