normell
Winter's Flat's #1 Brewer, now that XXXX have move
- Joined
- 14/12/04
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Ronnie Barker R.I.P.
>This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. The late
>great Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god
>knows how many takes). The irony is that they received not one
>complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the
>whining herds.
>
>Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not
>wetting your pants] as you read ...
>
>--------------------------------------------------------
>
>This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
>
>Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
>Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and
>shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
>
>The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
>and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
>huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
>
>The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts
>would not let Rindercella go.
>
>Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
>Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
>
>She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage
>with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy
>fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there
>would be a cucking falamity.
>
>At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
>suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
>Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
>her slass glipper.
>
>The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
>the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
>and let off a fig bart.
>
>"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
>"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
>
>When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on
>both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
>Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
>knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
>halls and a hig bard on.
>
>He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
>ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
>pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived
>hers with a follen swanny.
>This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. The late
>great Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god
>knows how many takes). The irony is that they received not one
>complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the
>whining herds.
>
>Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not
>wetting your pants] as you read ...
>
>--------------------------------------------------------
>
>This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
>
>Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
>Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and
>shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
>
>The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
>and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
>huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
>
>The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts
>would not let Rindercella go.
>
>Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
>Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
>
>She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage
>with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy
>fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there
>would be a cucking falamity.
>
>At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
>suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
>Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
>her slass glipper.
>
>The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
>the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
>and let off a fig bart.
>
>"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
>"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
>
>When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on
>both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
>Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
>knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
>halls and a hig bard on.
>
>He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
>ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
>pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived
>hers with a follen swanny.
