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Pig Gets The Last Laugh

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browndog

Are you bulletproof boy?
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Brewers,
I went to get a Tupperware container out of the fridge that was wedged beside the half eaten leg ham. As I pulled out the container I didn't notice the ham coming with it. It fell with the bone pointing down and caught me on the side of the foot taking off skin and leaving a deep gash. Being a senior first aider I immediately though shit the potential for infection is pretty good but at the same time though stitching would not be necessary so did my best to clean the wound and squirted copious amounts of betadine into it. I'll keep a close eye on infection, but right now, I'm dulling the pain hobbling to the kegorator for Pliny the Elder clones to take the edge off the sting.
 

Bribie G

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Sound's like Winkle was behind it : pig in or get porked?

The other day I dropped my Wiltshire Staysharp chef's knife, it bounced off the tiles, did a double reverse somersault that would have won Gold at the Diving and ended up in my calf. Shyte, it bled like you wouldn't believe. Fortunately I'd had a tetanus booster in October. :icon_cheers:

I'd say the ham would be ok, tetanus is more from dirt and dust and soil.
 

browndog

Are you bulletproof boy?
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Sound's like Winkle was behind it : pig in or get porked?

The other day I dropped my Wiltshire Staysharp chef's knife, it bounced off the tiles, did a double reverse somersault that would have won Gold at the Diving and ended up in my calf. Shyte, it bled like you wouldn't believe. Fortunately I'd had a tetanus booster in October. :icon_cheers:

I'd say the ham would be ok, tetanus is more from dirt and dust and soil.

Well that's a relief Michael, I can't recall my last tetanus shot. It constantly amazes me that I STILL have not learned all life's lessons.
 

white.grant

tum te tum
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Ouch!

Reminds me of a story told by a work colleague. It was his daughter's 7th birthday, big party proceeding merrily in the backyard, with assorted school friends and family enjoying themselves. He is sent to the kitchen to gather the large and lovingly made cake. He picks up the large cake on it's tray carefully, but tilts it slightly as he walks through the kitchen and the knife for cutting the cake falls off the tray, Oops he thinks as the knife drops straight down - through his sandshoe, through his foot and further on into the wooden floor board.

So he's standing in the middle of the kitchen, alone, a large cake in his arms, one foot nailed to the floor, shoe filling up with blood, and desperately trying not to faint and drop the cake.

He did not drop the cake, but he did get 32 stitches.
 

browndog

Are you bulletproof boy?
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Ouch!

Reminds me of a story told by a work colleague. It was his daughter's 7th birthday, big party proceeding merrily in the backyard, with assorted school friends and family enjoying themselves. He is sent to the kitchen to gather the large and lovingly made cake. He picks up the large cake on it's tray carefully, but tilts it slightly as he walks through the kitchen and the knife for cutting the cake falls off the tray, Oops he thinks as the knife drops straight down - through his sandshoe, through his foot and further on into the wooden floor board.

So he's standing in the middle of the kitchen, alone, a large cake in his arms, one foot nailed to the floor, shoe filling up with blood, and desperately trying not to faint and drop the cake.

He did not drop the cake, but he did get 32 stitches.
And a status of ledgend in his family no doubt.
 

white.grant

tum te tum
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A clumsy legend. He was always hurting himself in a variety of improbable, and it has to be said, amusing ways.
 

yardy

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Brewers,
I went to get a Tupperware container out of the fridge that was wedged beside the half eaten leg ham. As I pulled out the container I didn't notice the ham coming with it. It fell with the bone pointing down and caught me on the side of the foot taking off skin and leaving a deep gash. Being a senior first aider I immediately though shit the potential for infection is pretty good but at the same time though stitching would not be necessary so did my best to clean the wound and squirted copious amounts of betadine into it. I'll keep a close eye on infection, but right now, I'm dulling the pain hobbling to the kegorator for Pliny the Elder clones to take the edge off the sting.
Pig revenge story #2

we used to do a bit of pig hunting in our teens and this particular day my mates father was butchering the pig we'd caught, after cutting it's throat he stuck the knife in the lawn, my numptie mate wandering around with no boots on as usual, walked into the knife where it went straight between the big and second toes (double plugger toes is the medical term i believe) his foot resembled one of Dr Zoidbergs claws :icon_vomit:
 

Amber Fluid

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Ouch!

Reminds me of a story told by a work colleague. It was his daughter's 7th birthday, big party proceeding merrily in the backyard, with assorted school friends and family enjoying themselves. He is sent to the kitchen to gather the large and lovingly made cake. He picks up the large cake on it's tray carefully, but tilts it slightly as he walks through the kitchen and the knife for cutting the cake falls off the tray, Oops he thinks as the knife drops straight down - through his sandshoe, through his foot and further on into the wooden floor board.

So he's standing in the middle of the kitchen, alone, a large cake in his arms, one foot nailed to the floor, shoe filling up with blood, and desperately trying not to faint and drop the cake.

He did not drop the cake, but he did get 32 stitches.
I do personally find this pretty hard to believe. Unless the person has a real thin foot and the knife was dropped from a good height with a bit of force and falling exactly at the right angle on impact. Being an ex butcher, I'd like to believe that my knives were sharp. I had dropped knives numerous times onto a sandshoes and at best was lucky to go in a centimeter let alone all the way through the foot, missing all the bones, and then through the shoe sole then actually pinning the foot to the floor. There would need be a bit of force behind it rather than just falling off the tray at say waist to torso height. Nevertheless, I have no doubt this is a story told by a work colleague but I reckon he likes to tell a tale or two that's for sure. :unsure:
 

white.grant

tum te tum
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I reckon he likes to tell a tale or two that's for sure. :unsure:
Yeah most likely he exaggerated, I'm pretty sure he dropped the cake myself, but the scar was real, both of them.
 

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