Oldie But A Goody...

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Fantasy Brewer
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One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion
starts to heat up...and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??..What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man!" She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'll just
buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery dept, where she picked up a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was soooo excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me, she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." Smiling
with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it". Her face just went completely blank, as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile............You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman". And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either......

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