No Topic Thread

[Dave70]

I had one of those calls a while back

Me to.

Went something like this.

Good afternoon sir..**** off!!

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Since reading the Joe Nesbo novels I have started answering the phone by saying loudly. 'SPEAK' Not many people ring on the home phone now.

 

[Mardoo]

It's nice to pretend.

 

[madpierre06]

https://au.sports.yahoo.com/golf/a/29510768/aussie-golfer-wins-beer-for-a-year-with-hole-in-one/

Can't complain when it's free and you get an ace to brag about.

 

[warra48]

https://au.sports.yahoo.com/golf/a/29510768/aussie-golfer-wins-beer-for-a-year-with-hole-in-one/

Can't complain when it's free and you get an ace to brag about.

Holy crap, I got zilch for my hole in one back on Anzac Day in 1999. Had to buy all my mates a beer. Stuffed them though, as I bought them all a pint of Guinness. I wasn't overly popular, but I loved my pint.

 

[Brew Forky]

Notihng wrong with a pint of Guinness.

 

[Exile]

Just had one of those annoying calls from India claiming to be telstra and that I had viruses and hackers all over my PC and they would fix it for me. Instead of the usual hangup, I went with them. SHE! got me to run eventviewer to be shocked by all the warnings and errors. Then she directed me to a website, www.telstraserver.somethingdodgy.com
I didnt go there, but when she asked what I could see (getting to this point took forever as they get you to type one letter at a time then tell them what youve typed, then what can you see FFS) thats where I had my fun.
Me: "Its a menu"
her: "What does it say"
Me: "Butter chicken $8.50"
her: "What?"
Me: "Thats not bad! And Lamb Vindaloo $10.50 - includes garlic naan."
her: "You think youre smart?"
Me: "Smarter than you"
Then the language! She called me Mr. Mutha Fxcka, mutha fxcka, F you Mr Mutha Fxcka
I said: "Ive captured your IP address and good luck with everyone else Mrs Mutha Fxcka"

Gave me a smile on a Monday.

Here are some ideas .. :lol:

https://www.reddit.com/r/itslenny/

 

[CrookedFingers]

Let's not think about last week or any other game past or upcoming.
Tonight my MIGHTY HAWKS are playing some pretty good footy.
We ARE a happy team today.

 

[Brew Forky]

Let's not think about last week or any other game past or upcoming.
Tonight my MIGHTY HAWKS are playing some pretty good footy.
We ARE a happy team today.

And they cost me my betting allowance. Embarrassing game for the 25000- 30000 people who drove interstate today.

 

[CrookedFingers]

Woah.
Let's go hawkers !

That got a little close but we got em.

Bring on the granny !!!!

 

[panspermian]

Watching new Star Trek tonight.
I love my sci fi but it shits me no end, Captain Kirk hurtling towards a destination and he's given coordinates.!

Yeah I prob had a few, but shit eh, coordinates are from a fixed position on Earth. If in space how can you get a fixed coordinate????

I prob could have explained myself clearer without a few under my belt but I'm sure you guys know what I mean.

 

[peas_and_corn]

Remember when ahb.com.au redirected to this forum?

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Watching new Star Trek tonight.
I love my sci fi but it shits me no end, Captain Kirk hurtling towards a destination and he's given coordinates.!

Yeah I prob had a few, but shit eh, coordinates are from a fixed position on Earth. If in space how can you get a fixed coordinate????

I prob could have explained myself clearer without a few under my belt but I'm sure you guys know what I mean.

Just have to use your imagination and think he has a real cool satnav.

 

[Red Baron]

I'd be more concerned about going to warp speed without knowing your final destination accurately! Imagine when fleet sends you the proper coordinates and you realise it's on the other side of the universe??? Good luck justifying the fuel docket for that one Kirky!

Cheers,
RB

 

[GrumpyPaul]

Watching new Star Trek tonight.
I love my sci fi but it shits me no end, Captain Kirk hurtling towards a destination and he's given coordinates.!

Yeah I prob had a few, but shit eh, coordinates are from a fixed position on Earth. If in space how can you get a fixed coordinate????

I prob could have explained myself clearer without a few under my belt but I'm sure you guys know what I mean.

Sorry to break be the one to break it to you.....its all just pretend.

Captain Kirk is just TJ Hooker before he went all weird.
The Enterprise is just a model - look carefully and you can see the strings.
And despite Scotty constantly proclaiming " I canna give her any more" he always gets them there in the end.

 

[Airgead]

A coordinate system will work fine as long as you have a fixed zero point. All star fleet needs to do is define "somewhere" as 0,0,0 and away you go. Sagittarius A* would be a pretty good galactic zero point....

 

[Dave70]

Watching new Star Trek tonight.
I love my sci fi but it shits me no end, Captain Kirk hurtling towards a destination and he's given coordinates.!

Yeah I prob had a few, but shit eh, coordinates are from a fixed position on Earth. If in space how can you get a fixed coordinate????

I prob could have explained myself clearer without a few under my belt but I'm sure you guys know what I mean.

Hope this clears a few things up for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl-tS0Xa_AE

Sorry to break be the one to break it to you.....its all just pretend.

Captain Kirk is just TJ Hooker before he went all weird.
The Enterprise is just a model - look carefully and you can see the strings.
And despite Scotty constantly proclaiming " I canna give her any more" he always gets them there in the end.

Yes. Weird.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXSWx5Q2XCo

 

[real_beer]

Yes. Weird.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXSWx5Q2XCo

I couldn't watch more than half of it, I felt like my lungs were burning up! Nothing worse than being a reformed smoker and seeing stuff like that :lol:

 

[Camo6]

While we're on the subject, Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty." So...many...lies.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Isn't there someone on here who goes under the name, 'Beer me up Scotty'?