Jokes That Are Sure To Offend!

[THE DRUNK ARAB]

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special
Olympics?
A: Walking
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Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out
of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
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Q: How do you swat 200 flies in one go?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
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Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is ******* her.
*******************************************************
Q: What do 54,000 abused women every year have in common?
A: They don't ******* listen.
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Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea
*******************************************************
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating ****
once
in a while too.
*******************************************************
Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
*******************************************************
Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael
Jackson?
A. Acne doesn't usually come on a kid's face until he's at least 13
years
old.
*******************************************************
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
*******************************************************
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
*******************************************************
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
*******************************************************
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're
driving.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
thirty miles
an hour.
*******************************************************
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimics birthday
party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole
weak.
*******************************************************
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
*******************************************************
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
*******************************************************
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
*******************************************************
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
*******************************************************
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know
when it is
bedtime? A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
*******************************************************
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants- if you have a penis, it's not
time.
*******************************************************
Q. How do New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that
kick.

 

[crackers]

well that had the guys at work amused for a bit.
now back to work. :angry:

cheers
crackers

 

[wardy]

some top ones there TDA, certainly got a few chuckles