A boilermaker I used to work with had some classic stories, but this was his best.
He headed to some town for a training course with one of his workmates who fancied himself as a drinker. In the car trip he talked himself up and said he would go drink for drink with this bloke (Simon). Simon was a rough as guts, burly bloke who wouldn't take anything seriously except a vertical up. He was a big drinker and up for a laugh.
They arrived at the pub where they had separate rooms upstairs that had a communal toilet and shower. The room was all set up and a young attractive lass sorted them out and said she would pick up their sheets and towels when they were done, and would sort out any washing. They headed downstairs and got on the piss.
Simon decided to go hard and push this bloke. The other fella struggled but swallowed his pride and kept up. After about 8 schooners the other bloke started looking very shady and said he had to head upstairs for a piss. He stumbled away and Simon thought nothing of it.
About 2 hours passed and this bloke was nowhere to be seen. Simon should have stopped a few schooners ago and was told to go to bed, and pinballed himself up the stairs and swing into his room. He bounds to the toilet unzipping on the way, then busts in and starts pissing all over the place. He noticed he was stepping on something, and looks down to find old mate passed out half wrapped around the toilet, spew dripping out his mount and had pissed himself. Startled, Simon jumps and pisses all over this bloke. After he gets a bit of a look at him, he gets a whiff of the spew, then does a big sympathetic ralph, half landing the bowl and the other half all over the bloke on the ground. Horrified, he showers quickly then lands in bed.
The next morning he wakes up shady as hell. He goes to the venue and the other bloke rocks up a bit late and as pale as a ghost. "What happened last night?" he says. Simon says he took off and that's the last he saw of him. The other bloke then went on to explain that he pissed and spewed all over himself, then woke up in the toilet and had to give all the clothes to the cleaning chick who woke him up when she came in to clean it. He was understandably ashamed and didn't touch the booze for a while after that. Simon never let him know he pissed and spewed on him, he thought it might be a bit embarrassing. .