Embarrasing moments.

[malt and barley blues]

Discussing embarrassing moments to-day over a few beers with some mates, thought it may make an interesting topic.
This was mine, picked up a woman and went back to her place to spend the night, next morning I had to get up early to go to work went to the bathroom and decided I needed a ****, had one the cistern didn't flush. Went to the kitchen got a plastic bag scooped everything out and made a neat little parcel intending to take it with me, washed my hands, combed my hair and let myself out.
As soon as the door shut behind me realised I had left the parcel of **** on the bathroom cabinet. Never did get in touch with her, still get embarrassed thinking about it.

 

[breakbeer]

I've heard that exact story (almost word for word) from several magazines & websites

You're either regurgitating an urban myth or this exact thing has happened to many other people

 

[Camo6]

I'm sure I heard it recited in a movie too.

Speaking of which, have you guys read my blog? Kinda ****.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

An oldie but a goody.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

The wife and I went to stop at my sister in laws house and she gave us her bedroom, I took the bags and emptied them. Putting the bags under the bed and found my sister in laws vibrator, standing there with it in my hand wondering where to put it, my wife burst in and I just said I found your sisters vibrator, my wife said if that had been my sister coming in instead of me imagine how embarrassed she would have been, I said if you had been your sister coming in only 2 seconds earlier imagine how embarrassed I would have been if she had caught me sniffing it.

 

[Cocko]

Oh dear... this isn't gonna end well.

 

[goomboogo]

I was going to my High School Prom. I went to pick the girl up at her parent's house. I had to use the toilet and when I finished peeing, I was startled by a pigeon outside the window. When I quickly zipped up, I caught my junk in the zipper. Next thing you know, half the neighbourhood was crowding around wanting to look at what I had done. I left her house in an ambulance and missed the prom.

 

[Black Devil Dog]

The wife and I went to stop at my sister in laws house and she gave us her bedroom, I took the bags and emptied them. Putting the bags under the bed and found my sister in laws vibrator, standing there with it in my hand wondering where to put it, my wife burst in and I just said I found your sisters vibrator, my wife said if that had been my sister coming in instead of me imagine how embarrassed she would have been, I said if you had been your sister coming in only 2 seconds earlier imagine how embarrassed I would have been if she had caught me sniffing it.

I'm glad you didn't say she would've caught you using it. h34r:

 

[Camo6]

I was going to my High School Prom. I went to pick the girl up at her parent's house. I had to use the toilet and when I finished peeing, I was startled by a pigeon outside the window. When I quickly zipped up, I caught my junk in the zipper. Next thing you know, half the neighbourhood was crowding around wanting to look at what I had done. I left her house in an ambulance and missed the prom.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

I can't understand why she got mad I only sniffed it. (not like I tasted it)

 

[Proffs]

Umm, my post got deleted?

 

[Camo6]

Must of been pretty rude then!

 

[spog]

I think I will stay out of this topic,well maybe until I have a few too many at sometime.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

Come on spog lets hear something.I will tell you another one of mine my wife and I went to the Ozone Hotel
in Queenscliffe for a romantic weekend away, when we got to the hotel made a cup of coffee and devoured the biscuits. My wife decided she didn't like the room and asked me to see about a change of rooms, I went down to the bar and asked the manager if we could change rooms well after about 4 or 5 pints of Guinness the manager came back to me and said he only had one other room available and it was the same as the room that we were in. I told him not to worry about it as my wife always pulled the same stunt eat all the biscuits and then ask to change rooms.
When I went back upstairs my wife said the strangest thing just happened the manager came to the room and gave me a big bag of biscuits

 

[goomboogo]

Umm, my post got deleted?

Maybe it violated copyright laws. I'm waiting for my cease and desist letter.

 

[petesbrew]

Mid 80s, Yr 7. I'm a gawky kid in a new school with few friends (weren't we all?) Walking home from school and a bus is coming down the hill behind me. The house I'm walking past has a big bush with those little red berries all over it. I think how it would be cool to throw a handful of berries across the road underneath the bus as it goes by, cos it would result in the death of dozens of berries. Yeah, awesome!
So I grab a handful midstride and toss them. Sure enough the bus predictably runs over these tiny little red berries and continues on unhindered by the obstacle. I keep walking a few steps, and trip straight over an old bin, placed in the middle of the driveway right in front of me. I land flat on my face on the gravel (had to be f##ken gravel), look up at the bus and see every kid on board rush to the side nearest me, faces plastered against the windows. I didn't exactly see all of their expressions, but I could imagine it would be that of amusement at my misfortune.

Next day I come to school, scabs all over my face. A couple of girls in my class approach me, "Hey, what happened to your face?" Trying to hold back their laughter.
"Fell off my bike."

 

[mckenry]

That bus story reminded me of when I was very embarrassed. I was riding my bike to cricket training one afternoon (about 13 years old) and a school bus was approaching from behind. I pulled to the side, but continued riding. Nekminet - Bam - I cop to the back of the head, what I later see is an orange and it splattered everywhere. Juice was running down my neck, around my ear, down my front, it was fxckn everywhere. I kept riding, trying to maintain my dignity in front of the bus load of private school boarders. Then the bus stops up the road and I had to ride past. Every kid is hanging out the windows laughing and yelling at me. Some prick threw another orange, but this one missed. I was terribly embarrassed. These days though, it would be a different story.

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Mmm...about 15yrs ago I was working in Goulburn and staying at The Imperial Hotel upstairs. Normal pub setup with showers at the end of the coridor. This particular sunday morning I woke up, hungover as all **** and decided a shower would help. So I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around my waist and headed to the shower. Now stupid me didnt take the room key...and upon returning from my shower I was greeted with a firmly closed door and me with only a towel. Now not having many options I had to go downstairs to the bar and hope they had a key. Well as luck would not be on my side I discovered that the keys where locked in the office...and the barman could not open it. So there I was, sitting in the front bar dressed only in a towel waiting for the manager to turn up...which took an hr as he lived out of town. So I did what anyone would do, and sat there and drank beer waiting for him to turn up. Lucky that the only other people in the bar where the old blokes who came in every sunday morning for there rum & bonox.

Needless to say...the manager was not amused...but gave me a wry smile

 

[Liam_snorkel]

Got busted having a pull before school as a teenager. Mum always knocked after that.

 

[mckenry]

This is a weird story of mine. Didnt turn out embarrassing as no-one saw me. I have only ever sleep-walked (is slept-walked past tense?) twice. BOTH times it was when I was staying in room 8 at the Wisemans Ferry Hotel. A workmate & I were doing a project on the rivers up that way and we stayed there a few times over about 6 months. I only stayed in room 8 twice and both times I woke elsewhere to where I put my head down. I always get my own room when away with work - not into sharing. The room had two single beds. The first time I awoke in the other bed and the bottom drawer of the dressing table was open. Strange I thought, but not a problem. Didnt relieve myself in the drawer or anything gross like that. The second time I went to sleep in room 8, I awoke with something cold touching my leg. I moved my leg and stirred a bit. Opened my eyes to see single serve sugars, face washers, paper napkins, tea towels etc and thought WTF?? The cold thing was the metal frame. I was in the linen/service closet, naked and 1.5m off the ground!! I must have gone for a leak in the night and not found my way back. It was 5 in the morning and I ran back down the hall to room 8. Luckily my door was wide open as I was nude and disoriented big time.

 

[Dave70]

Shitting my trousers.

 

[Black Devil Dog]

During a job interview with a building company, I was assuring the interviewer that safety was something I took seriously and to lighten the moment, I raised both hands and said that I've still got all my fingers. A few minutes later I noticed that he had 3 fingers missing from one hand.

I got the job.

 

[manticle]

Umm, my post got deleted?

usually posts get hidden if they're off topic, rude etc (and usually but not always you would get told in the thread or via PM).

There are no hidden posts in this thread so possibly something else has occurred in the space time continuum.

 

[Bizier]

I must have gone for a leak in the night and not found my way back. It was 5 in the morning and I ran back down the hall to room 8. Luckily my door was wide open as I was nude and disoriented big time.

I was yelled at by the missus Nov '12 in a hotel trying to sleepwalk naked into the hallway.

One time I fell asleep in bed with her when she shared with a gay male couple, but woke sprawled starkers on the futon couch in the lounge room. She laughed, they probably wouldn't have found it so funny, pretty straight for gay guys.

 

[Liam_snorkel]

About a decade ago I lived in a townhouse complex with about a dozen identical 2 storey duplexes, you know the ones. I had a mate who lived in one of the other duplexes. One night I woke up to a commotion inthe room next to mine - said mate had wandered into my place maggot/stoned, gone into my housemates bedroom (equivalent bedroom in his place), started taking his gear off and tried to get into bed with him. We started locking the screen door after that.
developers need to get creative with their house designs!

 

[Ducatiboy stu]

Reminds me of a housemate years ago. We both got on the piss pretty hard one night and I ended up crashing on the loung...my mate feel asleep in a chair. Early in the morning I heard him get up out of the chair, walk over to the TV cabinet and start pissing in it...I was yelling at him to stop but he was half asleep and pissed so I couldnt stop him. He was doing his fly up when he stumbled back, tripped over the coffee table, put his arm out and placed his full hand square on the glass of the slow combustion heater. Well I must say I have never heard a scream like it. He left a full handprint burnt onto the glass and badly burnt the palm of his hand. He woke up pretty fast after that. We sat there for a while with his hand in ice water, both trying not to laugh...still half pissed. Eventually when I sobered up enough I took him to hosp. His hand was fully bandaged for a week and it took a month before he could use it.

I was never able to get rid of the hand print off the glass....its probably still there

 

[Camo6]

**** and not a real pleasant story but read if you will:

Not my story but a mate of a mates. Haven't heard it repeated though. He was travelling up the coast on a coach and got talking to the girl next to him. They hit it off and snuck a bottle of spirits on board after a stop. After a few drinks and when most were sleeping they got a bit amorous and she climbed onto his lap in a reverse cowgirl fashion. Maybe due to the alcohol and the secrecy of the act they started to laugh...hard. In an effort to suppress her mirth the girl defecated into his lap and he had to ride out the rest of the trip in a bad way.

 

[spog]

At a former work place years back I walked into the office to get some paper work and found the company bludger going through the filing cabinets claiming the boss told him to man the office while he was away.
He had left an apprentice unsupervised onsite and was big noting himself,I told him so and told him to get back onsite,he refused,I told him he was a waste of space and that his mother should have swallowed him and again can't be in the office while the boss and his wife are away!
He said nah the boss went by himself and his wife was at home ******* her boyfriend !
I was told later what said to him was inappropriate as others in the office heard me.
Heard me! Faark.

 

[wide eyed and legless]

**** and not a real pleasant story but read if you will:

Not my story but a mate of a mates. Haven't heard it repeated though. He was travelling up the coast on a coach and got talking to the girl next to him. They hit it off and snuck a bottle of spirits on board after a stop. After a few drinks and when most were sleeping they got a bit amorous and she climbed onto his lap in a reverse cowgirl fashion. Maybe due to the alcohol and the secrecy of the act they started to laugh...hard. In an effort to suppress her mirth the girl defecated into his lap and he had to ride out the rest of the trip in a bad way.

I thought I knew most of the positions, but "Reverse cowboy"? I presume she was facing away from him, and defecated to suppress her mirth, not the kind of girl one would want to be telling to many jokes to.

 

[Camo6]

'Reverse Cowgirl' : for when you're both really horny but there's something really good on telly.