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Doc

Doctor's Orders Brewing
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I only have two pet hates. Stupid people and graffitti. This story really makes you wonder about some people in the world.

Doc

Traffic stop leads to big drug bust

LANCASTER COUNTY, PA - Two Reading men who police said were caught driving through Millersville with 33 bags of cocaine, 34 tablets of ecstasy, a small bag of marijuana, a six-pack of beer, a loaded handgun and two open bottles of alcohol were ordered last week to stand trial.

The driver, Antoine Lamar Shirley, 22, of 922 Old Wyomissing Road, initially was charged with one count each of possession of a firearm without a license, possession of a small amount of marijuana, making an illegal U-turn, driving the wrong way down a one-way street, driving with a suspended license and two counts of possession with intent to deliver. He later was charged with one count each of receiving stolen property and criminal conspiracy.

His passenger, Tridariaus Simmons, 20, of 632 N. 13th St., was charged with selling a firearm without a license, possession of a firearm without a license, possession of a small amount of marijuana, underage drinking and two counts of possession with intent to deliver.

Millersville University police Chief Wayne Silcox testified Monday he was on patrol in an unmarked car with Sgt. Joyce Rutecki just after midnight Oct. 24 when he noticed a maroon Dodge make a U-turn and almost hit another car at Brooks Drive and Lyte Road, near Gilbert Hall on the MU campus.

Under questioning by Assistant District Attorney Chad Foster, Silcox said he had been working since 7 a.m. the previous day because it was the university's homecoming weekend.

After the U-turn, the car went the wrong way on North Prince Street against one-way traffic, Silcox said. That's when he and Rutecki attempted to stop the vehicle.

The car didn't immediately stop, according to a criminal complaint filed by Rutecki, but entered the parking lot of a local restaurant, bouncing over a curb before coming to a halt. Silcox said the car then "took off" when he got out of his vehicle.

"It finally stopped in the first block of South Prince Street," he said. "I saw an open bottle of Corona in the front seat between the two people, and I noticed an odor of alcohol."

Silcox said he called for backup, then asked the driver to get out of the car so he could perform a sobriety test.

"He said the vehicle belonged to his Aunt Shirley," Silcox said. "I found that rather odd, because you wouldn't think someone would be named Shirley Shirley."

Shirley said he didn't have his license with him and didn't have the vehicle's registration either, Silcox said.

"I asked if I could look in the glove box because sometimes people keep their registration information in there," Silcox said. "There was no hesitation. He said, 'Go ahead.'"

University police Officer Jonathan Welsh arrived in response to Silcox's backup call and testified Monday he heard Shirley consent to the search of the glove box.

Silcox said he found a loaded .45 Ruger handgun in the glove box, along with 7.75 grams of cocaine and 34 tablets of ecstasy, which amounted to 10.25 grams of MDMA, the active ingredient in ecstacy.

Below the drivers' seat were .5 grams of marijuana, Silcox said. Also in the car were six full bottles of beer and four partially consumed ones, according to Rutecki's report.

Attorney Douglas Cody represented Shirley, and attorney Michael V. Marinaro represented Simmons.

Under cross-examination from the defense attorneys, Silcox said both suspects were cooperative after they exited the vehicle. Shirley's Breathalyzer test showed a .012 blood alcohol content, well below the legal limit.

"It did indicate he had been drinking, though," Silcox said.

Millersville District Justice Leo Eckert determined there was enough evidence to send the men's cases to trial.

Shirley and Simmons are expected to enter pleas Jan. 26.
 
Closely followed by this dumbass.

CANBERRA, Australia - An Italian tourist aboard a flight from Sydney to Vienna caused an international security alert after he sent a joke text message from his cell phone to his wife claiming his plane had been hijacked by terrorists, the Australian government confirmed Sunday. The man, Antonio Casale, 35, sent the message to his wife from Kuala Lumpur during a refueling stop on a Lauda Air flight from Sydney last Sunday night, Sydneys Sunday Telegraph newspaper reported. Transport Minister John Andersons spokesman confirmed the newspaper report. Casale claimed terrorists were in control of the plane and were taking the passengers to an unknown destination. His distressed wife contacted Italian police, who immediately contacted the Italian embassy in Canberra, who in turn contacted Australian Federal Police. Andersons spokesman said authorities were able to quickly establish Casales identity and discover the message was a hoax.
 
Hahaha I love the PPPowerbook! :lol:

And of the subject of dumbasses, I present this fine fellow to you:

Darwinite.jpg
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: just read the Powerbook article.
Very very funny and deserving.

Doc
 
Great one MCWB.
You get bitten by a deadly snake. Then you put your hand in the bag again. Double DUMBASS.
Maybe I can move this thread to the pub now, because that article had the word 'beer' in it :D

These dumbasses are putting a real smile on my face today. :lol: :lol:

Doc
 
Man rescued from clothing bin
December 26, 2004

OFFICERS from the Police Rescue Squad have freed a man who was found wedged head-first in a clothing bin in the inner-Sydney suburb of Surry Hills early today.

Police were approached at about 12.15 am (AEDT) by a resident who reported seeing a person apparently trapped in a St Vincent de Paul clothing donation bin in Belvoir Street.

Police said that when they arrived they found what at first glance appeared to be a woman wearing a tight mini-skirt trapped halfway inside the bin, hanging head-down inside.

A closer inspection revealed that it was a 35-year-old man from Glebe.

The two officers were unable to release the man and called in the Rescue Squad, and the man was freed a short time later.

He told police he was donating clothes when he became stuck.
 
and another

A boy racer lost his licence after speeding past a speed camera 19 times in a single night. The teenager swapped his cars number plate with a fake one and deliberately raced past the camera. The unnamed 19-year-old and his three friends were snapped in various poses - usually hanging out of the car windows making obscene gestures and believing police would not be able to trace them. They were recorded at speeds almost three times the legal 30mph limit. But police in Bern, Switzerland circulated the images to their patrol units and the teenage racer was stopped as he set off home in the yellow Citroen with the fake plates still attached.
 
This is what Christmas is all about. Obviously this guy had a belly full of his home brew and decided he could clean out the closets. Looks like he came out of the closet at the same time.

Police rescue man wedged in clothing bin
17:47 AEDT Sun Dec 26 2004


Obviously in this case I am the DUMBASS for not seeing that the good Dr had already posted the same story.
You have to be quick!
 
This guy definitely qualifies as a dumbass.

A MAN charged with possessing counterfeit money tried to pay his bail with fake cash.

Darrell Jenkins of Springfield, Massachusetts, in the US, was ordered to pay 264 bail in exchange for his freedom.

That figure was increased to 2,640 after he tried to dupe the court into accepting dodgy notes.

And I bet he still pleads not guilty when he goes to court because he is such a dumbass

Doc
 
that powerbook caper is the funniest thing I have ever read.... just classic



dreamboat
 
There are a few threads here from a guy who responds to those Nigerian fraud spam emails.Some of the discussion he has about meeting up with these guys get quite surreal, but he reels the scammers in & in & in...
 
This guy needs to be taught how to brew beer :lol:

Doc

Man hides in Czech pizzeria for beer access

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) - It will be the most expensive keg of beer he's ever had.

A 32-year-old Czech man got himself locked up in a pizzeria in the town of Brno late Wednesday to have free access to beer overnight. When the restaurant's staff left, he broke into a cooling box containing a keg, disconnected the pipes leading to the tap, put them in his mouth and drank as much as he could.

The man, drunk and fast asleep, was found by cleaners in the early hours of Thursday.

Vit Cvrcek, a police spokesman, said he will now have to pay for the beer he drank and faces up to one year in prison or a fine of about $425 Cdn for the damage he caused to the cooling box.
 
Check this idiot out...

Gollum joker rail horror
LORD Of The Rings fan Julian Brooker was electrocuted on a rail line while imitating his favourite character Gollum.The 23-year-old scampered about on all fours like the 4ft hobbit and then pretended to touch a live track to impress his boozy friends.But Julian accidentally DID touch the 750-volt third rail.His horrified pals watched as a bolt of electricity blew him 15ft in the air and turned into a fireball.Tragedy struck after he and pals spent a night drinking on the beach near his Brighton home on October 23 last year.Friend Eva Natasha wept as she told an inquest how they went to London Road station at 4am and began playing the Gollum game.She described how sales assistant Julian clambered from the platform on to the line. She said: He touched a rail and pretended to be electrocuted. I didnt find it funny, but assumed he knew what he was doing.Then he touched the live rail once. He wouldnt have touched it if he had known it was live.Locals heard Julians pals screaming and dialled 999 but he was certified dead at the scene. Yesterdays hearing was told Julian often got on all fours and pretended he was the evil character from the hit movie trilogy.Mum Vivienne Chauhan said: It was a game from Lord Of The Rings. He was always larking about. Hed do it in the house and say he was off creeping. East Sussex coroner Veronica Hamilton-Deeley was also told Brooker was a keen numerologist obsessed with the number 23 and went drinking on that date every month.
Verdict: Accidental death.

If you go here, the UK Sun's website you can see a picture of this twat as well.
 
Attnang - Two teenage crooks, who stole 43 car radios in a single night, were caught after police followed their footprints in the snow.

The pair decided snow would be the perfect cover to rob dozens of cars as roads were impassable and they doubted police would be on patrol.

But they forgot about the tell-tale footprints in the snow, which led officers from one car to the next and finally to the flat rented by the two 19-year-olds.

Police officers described their flat, in Attnang, Upper Austria, as an "Aladdin's cave" of stolen goods.

Central Europe has experienced the heaviest snowfalls in some areas since 1941 with many roads completely blocked for days.

The pair confessed to dozens of thefts in the area and also named three friends who had helped them with their crimes. - Ananova.com
 
FW: Top 8 Morons of 2004


1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.


2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
come out and give yourself up."


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.


4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.


5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I
said!".


6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"


7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun...Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!


8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

<_<
 
Or, perhaps, "Dumb things to do to your ass". You'd have to be a pretty desperate alky to try this.
Husband dies after sherry enema
February 4, 2005 - 9:19AM
A US woman has been indicted on negligent homicide charges for allegedly giving her alcoholic husband a sherry enema that killed him.
Michael Warner, 58, died last May after the enema caused his blood-alcohol level to rise to .47 per cent.
"That's extremely high," Detective Lt. Robert Turner said. "You're either going to be in the hospital or the funeral home with that much alcohol."
Tammy Warner, 42, was indicted last week.
Turner said Michael Warner was an alcoholic who could not swallow liquor because of ulcers and heartburn. "He was told that he could not drink alcohol or that he would die, according to the people that we interviewed," Turner said.
"We are going to prove that she gave him the sherry and that she knew that he wasn't supposed to have any and that it could be detrimental to his health, and that she gave it to him anyway."
Tammy Warner was released on $US30,000 ($A38,000) bail. Her lawyer did not immediately return a call Thursday.
 
From today's Age.

Man survives 'contract' he took out on own life
By John Silvester March 9, 2005

In Melbourne's underworld war, police have often investigated cases where gangsters have taken out contracts to kill each other. But in the past few days they have investigated a contract with a twist.

In this case the would-be victim took out a contract on his own life. The Caulfield North man, 30, paid two young men $5000 each to kill him. In the bizarre case, the "target" told the men he wanted to commit suicide but was frightened he would botch the job. He asked them to help. His plan was to take sleeping pills then, if he was still alive 10 minutes later, the men were to kill him with an iron bar.

On Friday the three drove in the "target's" car to Gembrook. The man with the death wish and the would-be contract killers, both 18, searched for a cliff where they could dispose of the dead body. They found some tea rooms, antique shops, a lavender farm and Puffing Billy train tracks, but no cliffs suitable for dumping a body.

According to police, the "target" told his assistants that they would have to move to Plan B. The hastily arranged alternative was that the body was to be hidden in some bushes. He then took two boxes of sleeping pills. But, instead of slipping into a coma, he began to convulse on the ground. His employees then grabbed the large iron bar from the car and struck him two or three times on the head. Satisfied they had completed their mission, they left, not bothering to roll the body out of sight.

But the victim had both an iron stomach and a thick skull. He came to and was later found, bloodied and disoriented, staggering down Macclesfield Road.
He was taken to the Angliss Hospital in Ferntree Gully and treated. He was later transferred to The Alfred hospital psychiatric ward as a non-voluntary patient.

The two men, who have not been in any previous trouble with police, have been interviewed by detectives and are believed to have made full confessions. The "target's" car was found outside their house. It is believed the pair spent the $10,000 on top-shelf alcohol, a box of Cuban cigars and mobile phones. They are expected to be charged on summons with attempted murder.
 
Even he admits he is a dumbass :lol:

Beers,
Doc

Man With 'TIPSY' Plate Faces DUI Charges

MOORHEAD, Minn. - Having a vanity plate that reads "TIPSY" may not be such a great idea after all. Josiah Johnson, 23, said his license plate might have tipped off the Clay County sheriff's deputy who pulled him over Friday after he left Coach's Sports Pub in Moorhead.

Now he faces third-degree drunken driving charges after his blood-alcohol level allegedly registered twice the legal limit.

Johnson said he bought the personalized license plate for his Jeep to describe the way it rode then kept it as a joke when he got a Chevy Silverado because he likes to party.

"It doesn't mean I drink and drive," he said. "It just means I have a good time."

Johnson, who was slated to appear in court March 22, said he'll never drink and drive again.

"I feel really stupid," he said.
 
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