Easy, brew/buy some Coopers Sparkling Ale, make sure you work to the highest posable hygiene standards, cask it and wait for a year until you start drinking it.
Really not something you can fake - mind you if you are talking about a certain pub in Adelaide that serve aged Sparkling and Stout - I can understand your motivation as you said ******* brilliant! Like whiskey to you cant fake a decade or more in oak, you cant fake maturity in beer either.
Went to a local bar/restraint once with some friends, they only has Coopers Sparkling that had been in the cold room for 3 years, so sad, wasn't planning a big night but it became one.
Mark