Continuing Jokes Thread

Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum

Help Support Australia & New Zealand Homebrewing Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Sound logic
upload_2019-7-18_9-14-24.png


A man was walking down the street , when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.


The man took out his wallet , extracted ten dollars and asked : "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"


"No , I had to stop drinking years ago ," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food ?" the man asked

"Are you NUTS !" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well ," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead , I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied : "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf."
 
The telephone company needed to hire four more telephone pole installers
and the choice came down to two from Poland and two Irishmen.


So the boss met both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be
installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs
the most poles gets the job."


Both teams headed right out.


At end of the shift, when the two Polish guys reported back, the boss asked
them how many they had installed. They said it was tough going but
they'd put in twelve.


Forty-five minutes later, Paddy and Mick came
back in, totally exhausted.


"Well, how many poles did you guys
install?" said the boss


Mick wiped his brow and sighed, "Paddy and
me, we got three in. "

The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Polish
blokes put in twelve!"

"Yeah," said Mick, "but did ya see how much
they left sticking out of the ground.”
 
How do you express the opposite of "like"?

You know, the "un-like", "that's shite" or "could do better" kind of response?
 
“We’re looking for a Treasurer for the Xmas fund”, said Paddy.
“Didn’t you take on a new one last month?” said Murphy.
“That’s the one we’re looking for”, Paddy replied
 

Latest posts

Back
Top