Can Somebody Please Help Sheryl?

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Crusty

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I got this email tonight from a poor old lady in Colorado that needs a bit of help.
Can somebody please help her out, she seems so lovely I had to respond.


From Mrs. Sheryl Greene.

I am Mrs. Sheryl Anne Greene from Colorado USA and I am 75 years old, I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I can't work or do any stressful thing, according to my doctors they have told me openly that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child, presently.

I have a very huge amount of money with my bank in London UK, this money is still with the bank in London UK and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long will attract demur age fees as the security fees paid by me has expired or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not go to London UK in person because of my illness or they get it confiscated.

So instead of getting it confiscated I rather have someone whom I can trust to receive the funds and utilize it according to my wishes.

All I need from you is a confidential assurance that the funds when received by you will be used for the said purpose which is to set up a charity organization or orphanage home in my name, Nowadays there are so much scams going on in the internet and it is difficult to trust but I don't know why the Holy spirit still directed me to email you about this out of few email addresses I have from the internet while making research about my illness online and yours was the only one that my mind convinced and directed me to contact.

I am a Christian and the only one I have is God almighty who knows the reason of my condition, it will please me if you can respond as soon as possible, thank you.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Sheryl Greene


Hi Sheryl,
If only you had a brother, you would be able to say he was a motherless son of a bitch. I am flat ******* broke & would love for you to to give myself, a complete ******* stranger, some of that hard core cash that seems to oozing out of your fat sorry arse. I am really sorry that the piss weak bank in the UK will take your money in fees but I sure can't do shit all about that. As far as opening an orphanage in your name, I think that is a great idea, we would call it jail, or gaol, depending on where the **** you really are. I sincerely hope your long battle with cancer will see you triumphant & lets you live for a very long time so you can spend quite a while in jail & please remember, don't drop the soap mother fucker.
Oh, sorry, motherless fucker.
If you would like to send me a bank cheque, that would be much appreciated.

Best wishes from your long lost brother.

PS. I have your IP address arsehole, & this email along with my response has been sent to the AFP, ( Australian Federal Police. )
 
At least Cheryl Greene has a nice ring to it, as opposed to Mr Johusa Limpopo or Mr Napoleon George Mbombobbmmbo late governor of the 'M'bango province (with the 23 mil in oil revenues he needs to park in your bank account.

I have no sympathy for the idiots who fall for these things. Occasionally you see photos of the victims in the likes of the Courier Mail, having lost their house etc. They all look like they are in their 60s with looks of stupification on their blank faces - mate I'm in that age group but I've made sure I'm bang on with modern technology - the number of people over 40 who say "oh I don't believe in all that Internet nonsense" as they queue at the post office to pay their electricity bill and rego over the counter with wads of notes bulging out of their wallets... perfect target for muggers and druggies.

Here on the Island a mob of retirees got together and formed a computer club, set up a "lab" in a garage with about 4 PCs and high school kids would come and teach them for free after school, so it's not necessarily an age thing.
Ignorance is annoying, but the elderly ignorant are inexcusable.

No sympathy.

end rant

ha


Shit I see what my problem is, it's beer o'clock :eek:
Outta here
 
has there been an increase in this sort of thing lately...
 
Ignorance is annoying, but the elderly ignorant are inexcusable.

No sympathy.

end rant

What a dumb statement! What, are you and your elderly relatives 100% perfect or something?
Wake up to yourself and don`t start slagging older people because you think it`s ******* smart.
It`s not.

stagga.
 
What a dumb statement! What, are you and your elderly relatives 100% perfect or something?
Wake up to yourself and don`t start slagging older people because you think it`s ******* smart.
It`s not.

stagga.

stag,
I think Bribie was was taking a shot at the small minority of elderly ( ignorant & arrogant ) that make reference to refusing to use a computer & keeping wads of cash in their possession. As he stated, he falls into the 60's age group & he wasn't saying all elderly people were like that, just some of them. My grandfather never used a bank, kept thousands of dollars under his mattress & refused to have anything to do with technology. Crime has increased to much higher levels these days & the elderly are definitely an easy target.
 
. Crime has increased to much higher levels these dayst.

Ahem... bureau of statistics says otherwise.
In 2005 the victimisation prevalence rate for household crime was 6.2%, compared to 8.9% in 2002. Comparisons with 2002 for all selected types of household crime showed statistically significant decreases in the prevalence rates for:

* break-in, where the victimisation rate in 2005 was 3.3% compared with 4.7% in 2002
* attempted break-in, where the victimisation rate in 2005 was 2.6% compared with 3.4% in 2002
* motor vehicle theft, where the victimisation rate in 2005 was 1.0% compared with 1.8% in 2002.

That historical trend continues way beyond 2002. I'm just too lazy to dig up the figures.

Crime is at its lowest level in decades... the reporting of crime however takes up a higher percentage of the news than ever. Hence people's perception of the crime rate is that it is higher than it actually is... Fear sells newspapers and increases the ratings for TV news :ph34r:

Mind you, that's still no excuse for falling for internet scams.

Cheers
Dave
 
Ahem... bureau of statistics says otherwise.


That historical trend continues way beyond 2002. I'm just too lazy to dig up the figures.

Crime is at its lowest level in decades... the reporting of crime however takes up a higher percentage of the news than ever. Hence people's perception of the crime rate is that it is higher than it actually is... Fear sells newspapers and increases the ratings for TV news :ph34r:

Mind you, that's still no excuse for falling for internet scams.

Cheers
Dave

I love statistics, but it's an average, Australia wide & not town region specific.
North cost of NSW where I am:

Break & enter, up 3.5%
Attempted break & enter, up 2.4%
Alcohol related crime, up 1.8%
Domestic voilence, up 1.1%
Motor vehicle theft, up 2.3%

All from 2007

Looks like it's on it's way up here.
 
Dear Mrs Sheryl Greene.

Post tits or GTFO.

Kind regards,

The crew at AHB.
 
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