Bulleten Bloopers

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shmick

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Recieved this from a religious relative.
A bit long but WTF - some are funny.

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Church Bulletin Bloopers

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Tuesday at 5 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.

Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All" Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

On a church postcard: I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I would like a personal call.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Today's sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and do so.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A.B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
 
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