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Here's a beer raised in your honour!

Never mind the kittens in airlocks. Google it of you want to waste half a day. It's a really really old one, done to death, and should be cremated by now. Hey, there's an idea, let's cremate all the worlds cats, and make it a better place.

Next time you float one, get in first, and yell out "aw, mum, how could you, that's disgusting". Or blame the dog or cat. Agree though. Settle your bottles upright for a couple of days in the fridge, and pour carefully into a glass leaving the yeast etc residue behind.

I dismantle the fermenter tap each brew. Just turn it half open, and use a piece of dowel inside it, sharp tap against the brick wall, and it will come apart. Clean, sanitise, and reassemble. No problem. And they're cheap at bunnings, they do fit, I use them.

True story. About 5 or 6 years ago, my reading glasses slipped off my head into the boil. No way to recover them until after the boil was finished, chilled, and run into the fermenter. Glass frames were a bit faded, but the glasses worked as good as before the boil. And the beer turned out OK...

I dismantle clean and sanitise all my taps each brew, both kettle and fermenter. Haven't had to dump a brew in over 10 years.

I do it regularly in my garage. I always open the sliding window, also one of the garage doors when heating the HLT or boiling the kettle. Never had a problem in over 10 years of doing this.

Hope so, but I do not have access to system or software changes.

I'm given to understand the search function has been reduced to 3 characters now.

Probably due to thermal movement of the beer within the fermenter between different internal temperature zones. Many brewers have used a small computer or similar fan within the freezer to even out the temperature range.

Description of it on this site. http://www.straighttothepint.com/yeast-chart/ As Coodgee said, w34/70 is fine, but this chart may help to narrow down another alternative if you really want a liquid yeast.

I've had the same issue with this yeast, much as I like it for the malt it leaves in the beer. Here's a link to an older thread which goes into considerable detail, including WY1968. Hope you find some answers there. https://aussiehomebrewer.com/threads/uk-liquid-yeast.69537/

Steve, I'm up for a 1217 and a 3068 please. Will put in a formal order later today. Cheers, Rob

manticle, you'll love Düsseldorf. Just stick to the Altstadt, and you'll find heaps of brewpubs serving just Altbier. My favourite was Schumacher and Zum Slussel when I was there 3 years ago.

You can brew with whatever you like, but it won't be a Kölsch unless you use the specific yeast. As cliffo said, it's a very simple affair, just all Pils malt, and hopped like he suggested or similar. The yeast is what gives it the subtle flowery fruity character.

Agree with manticle, it's not necessary. I brew on a 3V patch up system. However, I do one, because I batch sparge, and my mash tun is just a 25 litre cooler, and I need to the volume into the kettle to get enough for a 25 litre batch into the fermenter post boil. It does make the run off and...

Are you allowing for shrinkage (well, you know what I mean) of the liquid as it cools from boiling?

It's my nearest local brewery. Just agreed with mrs warra that when all the blow in tourists piss off from The Bay, we're going there for lunch. Only a 15 minutes drive for us from home. When in Newcastle, our preferred option is Foghorn, followed by the Grainstore.

Yup, thanks, we're well aware of this!

SWMBO finally settled and distributed her father's estate this week, 15 months after the old dodger went to the happy complaining ground. We've just increased our wealth by a healthy 50%, so our finance people now tell us we have enough to live our current lifestyle till we are 140 years old...